https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:26:44 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-83667 Fri, 07 Jan 2005 05:16:55 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Bonzai_man https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-83667 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-83651 Fri, 07 Jan 2005 04:09:01 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club E.Sherman https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-83651 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-82134 Thu, 30 Dec 2004 10:25:04 +0000

nice very nice I tried to help with your bridge but the only words I kept coming up were " stitches & britches" which were the only words I found that rhymn with pictures . sorry but they just did not seem to fit in with the rest.

as for title "Pictures in my Mind "



cheers]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-82134 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-82071 Thu, 30 Dec 2004 02:12:35 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club guitargeek https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-82071 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-5936 Thu, 30 Dec 2004 01:24:52 +0000 These expectations keep on building, and rising
I put my hand to my face, feel the sweat
Desire, is overriding, makes no sense that its surprising

Chorus
If I could grab hold of these figments of sun
(Or are they just figments of my imagination)
I could run off in the night
Show them to others, what a beautiful sight
What a beautiful light

I have an under worked sense of touch
These calloused fingers don't reach as far as they could
Well is it more than just a hunch?
That you carry me more than I have ever stood?

Chorus
If I could grab hold of these figments of sun
They are getting closer and closer, like a glimmering kite
I could run off in the night
Show them to others, what a beautiful sight
What a beautiful light

Bridge
Well I'm not a tourist
I didn't come to take pictures"


I was looking for some feedback on this one. The chorus seems rather weak, and the bridge is incomplete. I'm just trying to get some feedback to get some more work into this one.

Oh, and if anyone has soem tips for a title, let me know.


8)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club E.Sherman https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/a-song/#post-5936