https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 09:42:04 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72241 Sun, 10 Oct 2004 14:42:58 +0000
I've done a crafty move and just put your song into the songwriting club rather than the Sunday Songwriter's board as it's not really within the assignment I'd set for this week.

Seems I've caught it after the revision as well but reads really well.

Good sog

Bob]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72241 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72191 Sun, 10 Oct 2004 01:03:37 +0000
Yes, I agree with other comments, nice contrast between "then" and "now", the things that seem strange in childhood often turn out to be normal when you're grown up......still don't see how this fits the "party" topic, though........ah, I get it, you'd been seriously partying and through a haze of alcohol fumes mistook this for the Songwriter's Club.....

( :roll: )

Nice song though.......

:) :) :)

Vic]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72191 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72164 Sat, 09 Oct 2004 17:33:08 +0000
Great song. Wonderful sentiment. That second verse could use a little work but that has already been addressed.


Nice to read your work. I must have started here just about the time you took your break.

Welcome back

Celt]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72164 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72127 Sat, 09 Oct 2004 01:43:10 +0000
well i don't think that this fits this week's assignment but that is ok.

WOW! rusty, my rear end! you sure wrote a great song. it is amazing the sentiment you packed into one simple song. you sure came back from your leave of absence with a bang. i am a hopeless romatic so i am a little biased toward it though.

i love the way you contrast the little kid things against what they mean now. it is just so sweet. the song flows nicely.

again wonderful job. love it! hopefully it won't be another two months before we see you again.

-CheapThrill]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72127 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72106 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:52:10 +0000
I know what your saying about the rhyming scheme, deffinatly a point for revisement. The maine choruse needs a bit of work too. I'll get back into the swing of things soon and a revisement should be up in a couple days or so.


Thanks,
Chris]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Lever https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72106 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72101 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:10:15 +0000
Two things right away:

The first verse rhymes very well, but the second and third do not at all. Rhyming is a strong pull for listeners, so they will be wondering where it is later in the song. If you don't want to rhyme in the latter verses, then you might want to break it up in the first.

"Broke way to love" is not a slang I am familiar with. "Gave way to love" is more standard, or maybe "Broke through to love". Unless this is a specific phrase for you.


Good luck on the college hunt!

-Laz]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Dan Lasley https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-72101 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-4249 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 20:07:05 +0000 I'm back. (sorry to anyone whose disappointed :lol: ) I'm sure most of you know how busy and important Senior year in high school is, so hopefully you can forgive me for writting college essays instead of lyrics. I took some well deserved time off SAT studying to try and write a song. and this is what I came up with. Any feed back is greatly appreciated. I'm a little rusty, so all you lyrical geniuses go easy on me.


Break way to love

The childish games we used to play
Mocking each other and what we say
Pulling your hair and pinching every day
Who would have thought that we
Would end up this way

Now I'm tangled in your arms
All the time
And who would have thought you'd be mine

Chorus 1
Our playground fights
Now sleepless nights
Because I need your company
Making fun
But when push came to shove
It finally
Broke way love

The red hair that I can never let go
Use to be a big part of my insult arsenal
But now, every part of you is so, so lovely
I can only imagine what my old friends
Would think of me

Pre chorus

Chorus 2
Our playground frights
Turned to long distance flights
Because I need to see your face
Making fun
But wish push came to shove
It finally
Broke way to love

Your little freckles that I used to taunt and tease
Your glasses that I felt made you look like a geek
But now, I feel they make you look complete
And you love me
So everything's ok by me

Pre chorus

Chorus 1

It finally broke way to love (x2)

Well, thats it. give me some feedback so I can be to writting.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Lever https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/back-from-the-ded-a-2-month-absence-broke-way-to-love/#post-4249