https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:18:54 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333114 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:22:59 +0000
:D :D :D

Vic]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333114 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333111 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 04:56:42 +0000
Thanks for the comments, and nice verse suggestion, I'll add some more tomorrow :)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333111 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333050 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:37:21 +0000
Good start :D

I can't tell if you are going for a literal (like Stephen King or Freddy Krueger)or figurative (broken heart) point of view for vs 1.

I am also not sure where the title fits in....broken pieces....his life? his death? her life that never started with him? her life without him?

Suggestion:
Go for finishing another verse...

...If you wanted to go for the ghost angle and fit in radio, you could move off the train tracks to some highway....like highway 666 or a junction of a highway and railroad crossing and then anytime the girl or someone drives that road or crosses that railroad on the road at a certain time of day or once a year....Johnny's voice can be heard on the radio or favorite song or message is sent about how he was wrongly murdered etc....

Thanks for the heads up on where you were posting this week....I say follow the muse where ever she leads you....she can be fickle with her visits and doesn't like to be ignored :?

James

PS Is it me or do you have a thing for trains? I think this is the 3rd? song around a train idea :roll: ...ok maybe 2nd :wink:]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333050 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333020 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:05:29 +0000 Another verse?
How about

And Johnny's ghost is haunting her
She sees him in her dreams
And when he smiles at her
She wakes up with a scream]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-333020 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-36506 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:29:39 +0000 Maybe I should add a another verse :P Thoughts?

Johnny was just seventeen
When he suffered a heart attack
His heart was ripped out beating
And left on that old train track

The girl next door, he never knew
Wanted his last name
But Johnny's heart had already gone
Vacation, by train

The feelings inside they never died
Oh no, they remain
And Johnny is still listening
Still waiting for the day

And time,
Time we have to let go
All, All the broken pieces

And time,
Time we have to let go
All, All the broken pieces

And time,
Time we have to let go
All, All the broken pieces

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=941315

^ It's 'Broken Pieces' in that link]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/broken-pieces/#post-36506