https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:59:57 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309263 Sat, 20 Sep 2008 03:19:10 +0000
I agree with Vic that the lyrics worked fine in the context too. A string of evocative phrases that certainly seemed very effective to me.

Thanks for giving us the chance to hear that. Apart from enjoying it a lot it's inspired me to get back to the keyboard again....

Chris]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309263 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309260 Sat, 20 Sep 2008 02:38:29 +0000
The lyrics do make better sense when put to music....it's always hard to gauge how they're going to sound from just words on paper, although you'd think I'd be used to it now after four years or so hanging around the SSG! I still have a nagging sense, though, they'd sound better slightly re-arranged, although what I originally thought of as unnecessary repetition seems redundant - sounds more like a statement and a repeated statement for emphasis, now it's set to music.

Music's great, by the way - I love the haunting piano melody, with the organ further back in the mix. Works great to these ears!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309260 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309226 Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:20:42 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Ignar Hillström https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309226 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309092 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:30:30 +0000
Somewhat surprisingly, it's often a bit of a pain when you finally finish a big project, grab the medal, win the championship, defeat Diablo in your computer game, or whatever. You look up and see that the golden carrot you've been slogging your way towards for months isn't there any more..... It can feel a bit empty. Nothing for it but to rest up, and then pick the next thing to aim for.

That's the feeling that I got from the lines, anyway. Time for the composer to re-invent himself yet again. There's a touch of tiredness, a whiff of sadness, but a sniff of anticipation too....

If that's anything like what you meant, then it worked for me... :wink:]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309092 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309071 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 05:17:20 +0000 But I had gone the wrong way
I've forgotten how it feels
When there's nothing left to say"

Burning bridges gives a sense of finality, of closure, and might be better at the end of the verse rather than at the start;

I've forgotten how it feels
When there's nothing left to say
I' burned the bridge behind me
But I had gone the wrong way

seems to flow more naturally to me. I'm not changing anything, per se, just re-arranging....in the next section, you've got two very similar lines - "I'm about to change my ways" and "I'm about to change" - one of those could possibly go, to avoid any unnecessary repetition, and again, with a little re-arranging....

X marks the spot
And I'm right there
Still in the same place
I'm about to change my ways
Next time I see you I'll smile
But I'll wear a different face

It seems to flow more naturally now, and the last two lines now have a kind of sinister ambiguity about them.....

That's what I'd have done, anyway, for what it's worth.

BTW, who said lyrics had to make sense? Anyone says it doesn't, just tell them, "Ah, it's deliberately vague and ambiguous in order to underline the metaphorical and metaphysical imagery of the eternal struggle inherent in nature and the natural order of the universe, and the answer is 42." Or some such BS - that was just off the top of my head.

Good luck with the final version, whatever you choose to do!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309071 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309065 Wed, 17 Sep 2008 04:41:27 +0000 do not give suggestions for better lines, strange as it might sound. Well, heck.
That's no fun.

Let me see if I got this right:
X marks the spot where you're going to morph, right?.
Are you leaving the cocoon?
Are you going to shed just your exterior shell?
Are you going to be wearing anything besides a smile?
Should we put a plaque on X to honor the occasion?
What's wrong with the face that you had?
Why do you have to wait til next time to smile?
And why do you have to start making sense now?

KR2]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-309065 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-308944 Tue, 16 Sep 2008 01:03:31 +0000
Well.... sure it makes sense :)
It could be taken quite a lot of different ways, as a matter of fact....
And that's how I like songs to be!

Interesting begining;
The thought of 'burning bridges' when it comes to people, only
ending up on the 'wrong side' :twisted:

That, combined with the line about having nothing left to say, gives the impression that this person
is stuck in a rather claustraphobic situation with someone that they no longer wish to associate with.
Could be in a micro sense (with just one person), or in a macro sense (as in they want to be left alone by everyone,
and realize there is no escape)
Could be that they can't get away from themself!

In the second part, the third line bothers me.
For one - it doesn't seem to fit or flow correctly.

For two - it makes the second to last line redundant (I'm about to change)....
add to that 'But I'll wear a different face' and it really becomes redundant! (it's the personification of 'a change').

And, for what it's worth.... One of my biggest pet peeves is the use (or overuse) of the word 'But'.
IMO - I think you should find a way around using it twice here.

Other than that - LOOKING FORWARD to the finished product! :D

Ken]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club CitiZenNoir https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-308944 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-33405 Mon, 15 Sep 2008 21:18:55 +0000 do not give suggestions for better lines, strange as it might sound. Thanks a heap!

I' burned the bridge behind me
But I had gone the wrong way
I've forgotten how it feels
When there's nothing left to say

X marks the spot
And I'm right there
I'm about to change my ways
Still in the same place
But I'll wear a different face
I'm about to change
Next time I see you I'll smile]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Ignar Hillström https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/does-this-make-sense/#post-33405