https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:48:04 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-281492 Sat, 16 Feb 2008 06:15:45 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club sev9780 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-281492 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-281473 Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:22:53 +0000
But reading through what you say , you seem to contradict yourself a bit - not sure if this isintentional or not. E.g. in the first verse it sounds like you don't know/aren't in a relationship with this girl. But the chorus sounds more like you're in an ending-relationship with her. Later on also, when you mention her being happy now and how it should be you sitting with her - that reinforces the notion that you were once in a relationship with her. I think you could tighten up the message of the song, and make it a little clearer how well you know the girl. But, depending on the music you use to accompany this, that might not be necessary, its just a thought.

Glad to see you did something productive in school today. :wink:

And I'm loking forward to hearing/reading more of your work - welcome to GN! :D]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-281473 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-30321 Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:29:24 +0000
I see you sittin' there
sittin' alone
knew what I wanted to say
but I still heald my tongue.
And I went to the ends,
to the ends of the earth
to find the words
to put in my mouth.

Chorus:

But I can't see were we are
or were we are going
but we can't turn back,
just gotta keep moving.
And the wind keeps blowing
as we're fallin' apart,
we're falling apart.

I see you sittin' there
sittin' with him.
I waited to long to say
what I wanted to say.
And now I'm all alone,
and I'm just sitting here,
sitting alone.
Thinking of you.

Now I see you laughing
almost crying.
But now you're both so quiet
like nothing need be said.
You seem so happy now,
sitting alone with him.
I should be me,
laughing with you.

Comments?]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club sev9780 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/falling-apart/#post-30321