https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 11:20:58 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260877 Thu, 23 Aug 2007 02:06:21 +0000 Only you, the lyricist, knows all the intricacies (pauses, stretches, etc) needed
to make the final cut a success. Keep posting...................LWJ]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club lwj001 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260877 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260798 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:29:33 +0000
I wrote the first and second verse last and about a month later than the rest of the song. That might be why they aren't really "explained". The third verse must be last, so I just put the other verses in the beginning.

I'll think about counting the numbers of syllables next time I try to write a song. (Now i realized my bridge (your version) is almost an haiku(5-7-5)... cool)

This is what I have right now, with comments about your suggestions in italic and changes in bold:

V0:
I'm caught between staying home and leaving
Tried to explain but nobody hears
What my heart is saying is, I'm grieving
Nobody here sees my lonely tears
//Your verse suggestion is great but it might be a bit long for the melody I already have in mind. Also, if the first verse rhymes, I think people will expect the rest of the song to do the same. It's better than nothing but I'll see if I can make it even better :P. EDIT: when I think about it, it might fit anyway.

V1:
In the middle of it all
Still no one can see me
I'm screaming inside (I'm screaming here inside)
But no one can hear me
// This is the verse I dislike the most. The first, second and fourth line somehow seems to short or to simple. The third line already fit perfectly into the song. Your extra syllable is unnecessary since I intend to sing "I'm screeeeeaming inside" :P

V2:
I'm looking around (I'm looking here and there, all around)
//The first row is to short indeed, but your version is to long and is not carrying the same message that I tried to convey (that I were watching the people around me and feeling cut away from them).
Can't break free of my shell
You say the road is part of the goal, but I don't
know cause I'm getting nowhere at all (I don't know because I can't tell)
//I came up with this now, I think it works better with the melody. Your suggestion seems repetitive (word?) since "i don't know" and "I can't tell" are synonymous. Also, my version points out the irony in the saying "the road is part of the goal" (no idea if it exists in English) when you're getting nowhere.

Chorus:
I walk alone
I walk alone
No one knows what it's like to be alone
Alone in the crowd (All alone in the crowd)
//The pause explains it all

V3:
In failure I leave you all
Save you from my misery
But how can I hate you so
It's like you I want to be (It's like you I want to be)
//Doesn't it feel too "chopped off"? :?

Bridge:
I've tried to change (I have tried to change)
//to long
but I don't know how
Don't wanna be on my own

I keep falling down (not: Keeping falling - two "ing" can't go together)
//thank you, I should now that, it isn't even possible in Swedish...
It makes me feel like giving up
Walked for so long (I've walked for so long)
Yet I'm still where I started (small typo error - "were" is "where")
//The bridge is the part I'm most happy with. It only needs change if I totally have missed the point (and typos :P).

Thanks again. More advice are welcome.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Aarrgg https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260798 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260433 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 17:43:06 +0000 Here's my suggestions. Others may add theirs also.

An introductory verse to identify what "it all" is would set the reason for the song.
"The road is part of the goal" is the key. Maybe something like this:

I'm caught between staying home and leaving =10 (# of syllables in each line, makes music easier)
Tried to explain but nobody hears =9
What my heart is saying is, I'm grieving =10
Nobody here sees my lonely tears =9

V1:
In the middle of it all =6
Still no one can see me =6
I'm screaming inside =5 (I'm screaming here inside) =6
But no one can hear me =6

V2:
I'm looking around =5 (I'm looking here and there, all around) =9
But I can't break free of my shell =8
You say the road is part of the goal =9
I don't know cause I'm getting nowhere =9 (I don't know because I can't tell) =8

Chorus:
I walk alone =4
I walk alone =4
No one knows what it's like to be alone =10
Alone in the crowd =5 (All alone in the crowd) =6

Bridge:
I've tried to change =4 (I have tried to change) =5
but I don't know how =5
Don't wanna be on my own =7

Keeping falling down (I keep falling down) =5 (not: Keeping falling - two "ing" can't go together)
Makes me feel like giving up =7
Walked for so long =4 (I've walked for so long) =5
Yet I'm still were I started =7 (small typo error - "were" is "where")

Chorus

V3:
In failure I leave you all =7
Save you from my misery =7
But how can I hate you so =7
When it's like you I want to be =8 (It's like you I want to be) =7

Chorus]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club lwj001 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-260433 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-27534 Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:40:07 +0000
Chord progression
Verse: D - A - Em - G
Chorus: D - A - Em / D - A - Em / D - Em - G
Bridge: Bm / G / D / A

V1:
In the middle of it all
Still no one can see me
I'm screaming inside
But no one can hear me

V2:
I'm looking around
But I can't break free of my shell
You say the road is part of the goal
I don't know cause I'm getting nowhere

Chorus:
I walk alone
I walk alone
No one knows what it's like to be alone
Alone in the crowd

Bridge:
I've tried to change
but I don't know how
Don't wanna be on my own

Keeping falling down
Makes me feel like giving up
Walked for so long
Yet I'm still were I started

Chorus

V3:
In failure I leave you all
Save you from my misery
But how can I hate you so
When it's like you I want to be

Chorus]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Aarrgg https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/i-walk-alone-any-input-appreciated/#post-27534