RE: --->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses

lotto king — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 15:05:07 +0000

For your first attempt this is great
yeah I also think you missed a word out but no-one is perfect
great writting
The title I agree maybe you can re-think
but over all pretty impressive for someone so young and first attempt
keep it up
well done

RE: --->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses

Florence — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:17:22 +0000

THis is really good! Only one thing I would say is I am not sure that the title "hugs and kisses" is a good one, but its up to you and I think you left the word "out" out of your scond verse last line.
Instead of hugs and kisses how about

We Became who we were.
we Faught for each other,
Because I was sure, I was so sure
That our love, would never part.
And drenched in my pain I bid you farewell
with a kiss from my heart

Ciao Ciao

--->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses

x_gyllenhaalic_x — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 16:51:20 +0000

Hey, my name is Stephanie Jones, i'm 13 and I just got a guitar for my birthday. I also got a keyboard and I've already learnt 5 songs on the keyboard including 'Pieces Of Me' by Ashlee Simpson(You rock girl!). Anyway, I've always loved singing, and I was inspired by Delta Goodrem to make my own lyrics and by Ashlee Simspon for the type of genre of singing; Rock/Pop/Punk. Anyway, I have made my first song. It's about a girl that just got out of a long relationship and is trying to get over it. I've made about 5-7 songs and only ONE is about me. Because I've never had a relationship, I make my lyrics a bit like a story. Anyway, this was my FIRST song my made and so far, it's my favourite. Please post what you think about it and some comments on how I can improve it. Thanks! <3Stephanie. p.s: Here it is: Hugs and Kisses

Hugs and Kisses

The rain is falling again.
Falling from the stars.
Each droplet hitting me,
Leaving invisible scars.

Letting you go,
Was harder than anything before.
So hard that you left me,
Running of the door.

Pain, my pain is hurting.
Shame, my shame is burning.

Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we were.
Fighting for each other,
Because I was sure.
That our love,
Will never part.
Hugs and kisses,
From my heart

Ask myself,
â€œWhat do I do?â€
My thoughts are filled,
I think of you.

My feelings are leaving,
I feel cold and hurt.
I feel like falling,
Lying in the dirt.

Feel, my feelings are almost gone.
Deal, what's your deal, how come?

Hold me, tight.
Cause it feels so right.
What the hell you gonna do?
I'm so over you!

Even though I'm over you,
Like you, but you saw,
All the words are gonna bleed from me,
And I will sing no more

--->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses - Guitar Noise Songwriting Club

RE: --->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses

RE: --->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses

--->I'm a newbie--->My first song; Hugs and Kisses