https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:40:31 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-139243 Fri, 18 Nov 2005 00:30:36 +0000
I would change "makes" in the second stanza ... to "made". I think it sounds better and fits the tense of the first stanza.


** I like "forever here" ... don't change that.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club sjboller https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-139243 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-139080 Thu, 17 Nov 2005 06:08:26 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club nolongerme https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-139080 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137279 Mon, 07 Nov 2005 22:39:29 +0000
Best,


A :-)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137279 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137173 Mon, 07 Nov 2005 07:16:50 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club rejectedagain https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137173 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137039 Sun, 06 Nov 2005 18:42:24 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137039 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137021 Sun, 06 Nov 2005 17:09:12 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club GAZ-UK https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137021 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137016 Sun, 06 Nov 2005 16:59:04 +0000 whilst"? might be better just "while")
I would suggest changing the order of this line also: i promise you ill be forever here to: "i promise you i'll be here forever"
Just some thoughts. Good job getting your point across though. I respect anyone who can put pen to paper & wright an original song. Keep it up!
P.S. Don't forget to critique some other poster's songs in the GNSC also. :wink:]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Dan T. https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-137016 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-12910 Sun, 06 Nov 2005 14:39:01 +0000 lets take a walk

i was walking in the snow with you
and the sound of it made me smile
i could see your breath in the freezing air
you made my night worthwhile

holding your hand makes me warm inside
i can still feel it though im cold
walking whilst staring at the sky
the beautiful stars never get old

chorus
this could be the perfect moment
to hold you close to me
i promise you ill be forever here
as long as you are wanting me

im staring into your perfect eyes
shooting stars are passing over
ill never let this moment pass me by
ive found my four leaf clover

is it ok if i walk you home now?
your shaking like a leaf
its not just a kiss im looking for
its the beauty that lies beneath

chorus
this could be the perfect moment
to hold you close to me
i promise you ill be forever here
as long as you are wanting me

kind of cheesy maybe? this is another punky sorta song but will be played with palm muting and distortion,not got anything sorted for this one yet but im working on it..any comments whatsoever welcome...

thanks for reading

gaz :D]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club GAZ-UK https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/lets-take-a-walk/#post-12910