https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 05:57:05 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-164118 Thu, 09 Mar 2006 04:55:07 +0000
i dunno if ive just got the wrong beat in my head but there seems to be some excess syllables here.
"You've got your hopes up
And your heart is set,
Your going after
A girl that you will never get,
When she calls your name,
Your blood begins to rush,
You feel your heart rise,
For it only to be crushed, "

A couple of little changes could make it flow better without changing the meaning for instance (and do whatever you want its your song)

"You've got your hopes up
And your heart is set,
What Your going after
Boy you'll never get,
When she calls your name,
And your blood starts to rush,
You feel your heart rising,
For it only to be crushed"

I feel like those are all changes you probably would have to make yourself anyways if you were actually singing the song, but then again i dont even know what the music for the song is so if its all set up and works then dont change anything.

"nothing can make you feel so bad
you thought you were right,
you had her love in sight,
but it has all come crashing down,"

This part could benefit from some imagery, maybe something to give a mental picture of the crashing down.

Anyways, good song, that girl is a total bitch.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Dneck https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-164118 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-164083 Thu, 09 Mar 2006 01:52:05 +0000
I like the last the verse the best, it sums your song well.

"You Shattered your dreams,
Turning them into misery,
You wonder why you been so wrong,
You feel sickly inside
And you just want to hide
And get away from it all"]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Ghost https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-164083 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-14996 Sat, 28 Jan 2006 02:45:34 +0000
You've got your hopes up
And your heart is set,
Your going after
A girl that you will never get,
When she calls your name,
Your blood begins to rush,
You feel your heart rise,
For it only to be crushed,

Tell me how you feel,
If you were just like me,
Trying to get the girl
that would make you so happy,
all the words I say
just come out as a moan,
she has the witches touch
and she will turn you into stone

nothing can make you feel so bad
you thought you were right,
you had her love in sight,
but it has all come crashing down,

Nothing could make me feel any worse,
As I start to cry,
Thought you were talking all about me,
I should have just wondered why,
I went on to make,
The biggest mistake
By asking you to be mine

You Shattered your dreams,
Turning them into misery,
You wonder why you been so wrong,
You feel sickly inside
And you just want to hide
And get away from it all]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Picture-Perfect https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/mislead/#post-14996