https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:24:40 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102395 Sat, 14 May 2005 15:36:05 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club rocketgirl https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102395 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102129 Fri, 13 May 2005 02:29:41 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Mezlay https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102129 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102124 Fri, 13 May 2005 02:03:18 +0000
Just to differ a bit from the previous two posts... I think can't is the correct choice for the song you've written. "Can't you...?" is demanding and implies that the opposite is true.

However, it may be a bit of overkill to continue to use it during the chorus. Maybe condsider altering the chorus so that the lyrics change gears, without changing the meaning of the song. Maybe something like:

Touch my chest and feel it rise
Touch my heart and feel it beating

Whatever works. Nice start. Keep going.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102124 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102077 Thu, 12 May 2005 19:58:18 +0000 Possible Titles:
1. Can you feel me
2. Feel me

I would like to hear your final draft that you end up with.... and what style of music you create out of it. But keep on writing....

Aeryn K. McAvan



Do you see my smile? Can you? Don't you?
Can you hear my laugh? Ha Ha Ha Ha
They look so nice, but only in mirrors
Can't see my heart thats under these tears

Can you feel it? My heart beat
Can you see it? My chest moving

Think this smile was born on my face?
Think this laugh is lodged in my throat?
Well they're not, I put 'em there
Am I just a window to those who care

Can you feel it? My heart beat
Can you see it? My chest moving

Can you see in? Here i am
Can you see in? Do you care?
There's the reason you've closed the shades
Took precautions, killed the maids

Can you feel it? My heart beat
Can you see it? My chest moving
You;ve closed the shades
what the h*ll am I to do?
My smile, my laugh
I put 'em both there
I want you, want you to
See me
I want you, want you to
Hear me
Care
You've closed the shades
My smile, my laugh
yea yea yea

Can you feel it? My heart beat
Can you see it? My chest moving
Can you feel me?
Can you feel me?
Feel me, feel me
Can you....
Can you feel me?]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club AerynK.McAvan https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102077 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102019 Thu, 12 May 2005 04:45:02 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club rockwithryan707 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-102019 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-8999 Thu, 12 May 2005 03:41:50 +0000
Can't you see my smile? Can't you? Can't you?
Can't you hear my laugh? Ha Ha Ha Ha
They Look so nice, but only in mirrors
Can't seee my heart thats ever in tears

Can't you feel it? my heart beats
Can't you see it? my chest moves

Think the smiles stuck on my face?
Think the laughs lodged in my throat?
Well it isn't, I put it there
but i'm a window, to those who care

Can't you feel it? my heart beats
Can't you see it? my chest moves

Can't you see in? here I am
Can't you see in? or don't you care?
Theres the reason, you've closed the shades
took precautions, killed the maids

Haven't came up with an ending yet but soon maybe. tell me what you think. please Critique.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Mezlay https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/needs-title/#post-8999