https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:01:00 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-99376 Sat, 23 Apr 2005 04:03:34 +0000
If you're looking for some direction on the second one, I think I'd work on some imagery. I was thinking maybe you could describe the scene where she leaves (since he's waiting for her to turn on her heel, I imagined that she hasn't even quite cleared the door way yet).

We also don't know why she left yet. Not to critisize, I know it's in progress; that's just where I might taking things.

Be sure to post the second drafts.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-99376 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-99357 Sat, 23 Apr 2005 00:17:39 +0000 :D]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Rush2112 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-99357 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-8602 Fri, 22 Apr 2005 21:01:44 +0000
I'll never forget what you did
I didn't know you would pretend
to be something you're not
What was the point?
Why did you do what you did?
Why did you shatter my heart
into billions of tiny pieces
then faked loving me again?
You dont really care about
About what has happened to me (or about what you have done to me)
All the blame is on your sholders
You're walking around with a
Guilty conscience

Would you blink an eye
if I told you it was over.
If I told you I was through
being you only escape
from the smirks and snickers
aimed at you
How would you feel then?
Don't abandon me again
with the pieces of my heart
scattered all around me


and the second one:

You're wasting your time here
waiting for her to come back to you
You try to let her go
but you look like a fool, to me
Just hoping and praying for
her to just turn on her heel
and re-enter your life again.
It ain't gonna work
you gotta go after her
But you're just staying here hangin' back
Makin' a wish, dont give me that.


and thats as far as i've gotten with those songs.
What do you think? and i can take critisisim.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club onegirlrevolution https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/no-title-2/#post-8602