https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 08:10:50 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-229625 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 05:40:48 +0000
I didn't think of the meter thing in the verses. Damn. you have to think of everything with this songwriting thing!]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-229625 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-229616 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 05:07:41 +0000
Nice start!

I hearing this set to a variations on a D chord like
Needle and the Damage Done or Can't find My Way Home.

You may need to tighten up your meter a bit.

Example:
Pink flowers in a glass vase by my bed
Jangly guitar sound in my head These two lines contain 18 syllables where as on the next
verse there are only 14:
Missed the train I should be been on
Next one my not ever show I would not say they have to be exact but 4 beats
may be a bit hard to fill musically.

Also I think it must be a typo but did you mean:
Next one "MAY"not ever show This line might work better as :
Next one may not show Of course then you're down to 12 syllables.

Sorry didn't mean to get all OCD on you there.

You have some nice imagery here. I really like the train imagery
and the sun.

The last three lines seem as they would work well as a bridge
or chorus.
It's been slow when I needed fast
And fast when I wanted slow
But now I have nowhere to go. Hope this is of some help.

John]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-229616 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-24062 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 04:11:48 +0000
Pink flowers in a glass vase by my bed
Jangly guitar sound in my head
The sun wants in
I want out
But I don't know where to go.

Missed the train I should be been on
Next one may not ever show
The sun wants in
I want out
But that was a long time ago.

It's been slow when I needed fast
And fast when I wanted slow
But now I have nowhere to go.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/not-finished-yet/#post-24062