https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:07:19 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78440 Mon, 06 Dec 2004 03:30:04 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club +LostBeggining+ https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78440 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78259 Sat, 04 Dec 2004 07:25:40 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club nitetrapper https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78259 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78192 Fri, 03 Dec 2004 18:31:51 +0000
lucy :)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Inkpen https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-78192 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76714 Sun, 21 Nov 2004 20:15:40 +0000
IMHO - this is an excellent set of lyrics, and having read through I think it's actually complete without even calling the chorus a chorus; I'd use it as a bridge.

Best,


A :-)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76714 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76694 Sun, 21 Nov 2004 17:32:40 +0000
I made the couple changes you suggested and I see what you mean by it needing another verse or something :D btw

lucy :)]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Inkpen https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76694 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76602 Sat, 20 Nov 2004 13:46:07 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club GAZ-UK https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76602 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76601 Sat, 20 Nov 2004 13:41:12 +0000
I aggree with gjbrake, wait with the chorus until you've sung the second verse.]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Jonsi https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76601 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76312 Wed, 17 Nov 2004 23:10:31 +0000
As always brilliant! Your songs are as good as they are regular!!! If only I could write as much.

Anyway - first up, I would suggest moving the chorus until after verse 2. The last line of verse 1 is 'You better start backing up all them alibis', and verse 2 is you starting to talk about those alibis, so I think the chorus would fit better afterwards.

Second, personally, I would lose the second 'wrong' from the first line of the chorus. Seems a little redundant, but that's up to you.

Lastly - MORE! I say that not only because it's great, but also because it seems a little unfinished, like you are just getting into your stride and then stop. Not suggesting an opus, but just one more verse or an outro-type thing to bring some resolution would perfect it.

Yet again, great work!

G]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club gjbrake https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-76312 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-4985 Wed, 17 Nov 2004 21:14:16 +0000
One Wrong to Many
ã 2004 Lucy Inkpen

Got a question I'd like to ask, but I'm afraid it's true
Afraid you're gonna verify, what everyone else knew
I was a fool for staying, standing by your side
You better start backing up all them alibis

You say you're working overtime, the pay it is real good
Providing for your family, just like a good man should
One thing I can't figure out, if it's true what you say
How come all that overtime, ain't added to your pay

chorus
One more wrong, is gonna be one too many
I've done my best; the rest is up to you
Go if you want; I ain't beggin you to stay
One more wrong hit the old highway

You never ever went to church, now you never miss a week
If I ask you what was preached, you say you went to sleep
I went myself just last week; I was feeling kind of low
Thinking I might see you there, but you didn't show

Lucy :D]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Inkpen https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/one-wrong-too-many/#post-4985