REFUGE - Guitar Noise Songwriting Club

RE: REFUGE

sapho — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 18:33:13 +0000

Nihilism at it's angriest. Is there no room for love? Or maybe that's another song.
Anyway some English pointers here:

<'we're' dying, abandoning our home>
We are is reduced to we're. We were is not reduced.
ie. I, you (sg), (he, she, it), we, you (pl), they
Verb 'to be'- present - am, are, is, are, are, are
Verb 'to be' - past - was, were, was, were, were, were
We were. We are. Perhaps you meant 'we were' in the past. Perhaps you meant 'we are' in the present. hmmmmmmmm
Anyway keep on scribbling!!

RE: REFUGE

pierson — Mon, 15 Aug 2005 12:10:13 +0000

Best of yours that I've read so far. I'm glad the story took a turn for the better near the end. I noticed the suicide metaphor that you used and thought it was good. You hate the world and so you end it just so it can't kill you. Again, good thing the end was positive because I highly frown upon suicide.

Corey Taylor said "Stop your bi*ching and fight your way through it!"

I like songs that pump me up with lyrics like these. I don't care much for songs that bi*ch all of the time. Liked the song. Keep it up!

RE: REFUGE

PoeticSmile — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 08:14:42 +0000

Since no one else has said anything. I'll see what I got. It was okay it kind of lost me and there wasn't really anything that made me too interested to continue reading. The emphasis of dying and crying over and over again just kind of annoyed but it was understandable with what you were writing about. But yet again I'm tired so a little bit later I'll give it another read and see what I think.

REFUGE

Diluted_Metal — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 21:31:58 +0000

Refuge

This air is filled with malcontent
This land is wicked and evil
Martyrs run, people die
Still no one cares for the plagued
Yet I cry!

Yet the world stands on the brink of world war 3
People ask what's gonna happen in five years from now
I'll tell them where I'll be!
I'll be lying in a grave, with the world
And facing the lord
Telling what I did in my life
Telling him I refused ending it with a knife!

We all refuse to come together
Join this world
Differences separate us
Do as were told
We walk alone
Were dying, abandoning our home!

None of us can stand up to it and have control
The killers stare at us and detach our soul
The world is killing it self, building momentum
You run with your family, soon you forget them
You then die, turn around and cry
Standing at heavens gate, looking at our world
You come to realise that it's nothing but a sick black hole!

We all refuse to come together
Join this world
Differences separate us
Do as were told
We walk alone
Were dying, abandoning our home!

Whyâ€¦ do we do it?
Whyâ€¦ can't we stop it?
Whyâ€¦ does it have to be this way?
Whyâ€¦ do we have to leave it this way?
What can we do to stop it, let it fade peacefully?
Make it a happy memory.

We all refuse to come together
Join this world
Differences separate us
Do as were told
We walk alone
Were dying, abandoning our home!

When the world- has- been-done
When were at the gates together, all-as-one
There will be no need for fighting, drop-the-gun
Peace will set in the hearts of those who survived,
All the children that had cried and all those people who had died.
We will stand together and walk in with our pride!

We all refuse to come together
Join this world
Differences separate us
Do as were told
We walk alone
Were dying, abandoning our home!