https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:56:22 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89591 Mon, 14 Feb 2005 19:14:33 +0000
or get ahoold of me on icq - 16409464 or MSN lord_ariez@hotmail.com]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club lord_ariez https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89591 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89491 Mon, 14 Feb 2005 00:48:55 +0000
maybe you could change the repetition of "everything" on:
This was everything
You've broken everything "

it sounds boring, cause you've already repeated "all for nothing", which I think it's very nice

tke care]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club noel-iu https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89491 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89190 Fri, 11 Feb 2005 09:00:49 +0000
you have "

"This is the last time i'll accept your resistance
This is the last time i'll acknowledge your existence
Take back your bleeding arms
Return my foolish, broken darts
I've traced and sliced the outline of your face on my chest with the stanley knife
All for nothing
All for nothing
This was everything
You've broken everything "

My suggestion would be :


""This is the last time i'll accept your resistance
This is the last time i'll acknowledge your existence
Take back your bleeding arms
Return my foolish, broken darts
I've traced and sliced the outline
of your face on my chest
with the stanley knife
All for nothing
All for nothing
This was everything
You've broken everything "


it seemed to me to flow better this way but you lose a little ryhmn but thats kool

cheers

L.K :arrow:]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89190 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89089 Thu, 10 Feb 2005 14:49:01 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club guitargeek https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-89089 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-6992 Thu, 10 Feb 2005 09:02:03 +0000
(V1)
This is the last time i'll accept your resistance
This is the last time i'll acknowledge your existence
Take back your bleeding arms
Return my foolish, broken darts
I've traced and sliced the outline of your face on my chest with the stanley knife
All for nothing
All for nothing
This was everything
You've broken everything

(CHORUS)
My Heart lies weeping in your concrete kitchen
The fly on the wall contemplates what he's been missing
What once burnt so strong for hours and hours
Is now sacrificed and disregarded cos you can't be bothered

(V2)
I'll hang your body in my wardrobe, your heart on the shelf
Reminisce about the lost hope, the wasted dope, the prospects of our black future
Your lies are on my carpet, it's a beautiful sight
The light burns red until my eyes start to bleed
You never go down without a long, repressive fight
The maggots in my pillowcase refuse to pack up and leave

(BRIDGE)
Where are we going as we strive for a different place
This has been a waste of time, I can't bare to look at your face
Space is essential, something you cannot provide
I'm laying down, I'm crying aloud, I think it's time you died.

CHORUS x2

By Ross Davies]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club gaspanic_00 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/untitled-song/#post-6992