https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:17:57 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69931 Sun, 19 Sep 2004 20:20:23 +0000 Guitar Noise Songwriting Club GAZ-UK https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69931 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69903 Sun, 19 Sep 2004 12:27:09 +0000 ill forget what i thought,where i am and where ive been nice opening man!
and while i was reading this i started humming a tune for it in my mind! so good job there :wink:]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club alterego https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69903 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69728 Fri, 17 Sep 2004 18:12:46 +0000
OK, you've got two verses and one (repeated) chorus - perhaps a bridge making a point about the difference between the wakeful and sleepy states might help...after the second chorus...

Something I just noticed - the first chorus follows a verse about sleeping, the second chorus follows a verse where you're awake....perhaps if you changed the first line of the second chorus accordingly, ie

"when i am sleeping i see only you"

to

"when i'm awake i see only you" or "when i am awake i see only you"

(whichever fits the rhythm best)

So come on Gaz, get it finished!!!

:) :) :)

Vic]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-69728 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-3666 Thu, 09 Sep 2004 22:23:56 +0000 ill forget what i thought,where i am and where ive been
but i hope when i wake up ill see you again
your the only thing ill remember when i get out of bed..

{chorus}
when i am sleeping i see only you
feels like a dream but yet feels so true
nightmares are times when you are not there
alone..asleep this just isnt fair.

im awake now my baby and you are right here
were lying here together and ive lost all my fears
this little dreamworld has been left behind
but im sure ill be back when i fall asleep next time..


{chorus}
when i am sleeping i see only you
feels like a dream but yet feels so true
nightmares are times when you are not there
alone..asleep this just isnt fair.


needs a bit of work and its not long enough yet but im working on it....
please reply and criticise or compliment....thanks]]> Guitar Noise Songwriting Club GAZ-UK https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-noise-songwriting-club/when-i-am-sleeping/#post-3666