https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 07:51:04 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115702 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 14:16:42 +0000 All I can say I never did -8 syllables
And I can say I never did- 8 syllables cool, indeed better and fits perfectly. Will suggest it to the rest.
Both are good songs and I would like to hear them. Will try to get a proper recording of a few of our songs together so you can all listen for yourself how it all fits. Thanks a bunch already for the comments everyone, much appreciated. 8)]]> Guitar Players Discussion Ignar Hillström https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115702 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115685 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 11:41:06 +0000
IMO, for what its worth both Taso and missileman are correct and I wouldn't change anything else. Both are good songs and I would like to hear them.]]> Guitar Players Discussion Rik Anderson https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115685 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115683 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 11:21:19 +0000
As for that line "close with you" or "close to you" I think "close with you" works better. They both work in modern English, but "with you" provides for closeness that is related to dating, love, and relationships. The "to you" does this as well, but less than the "with you", "to you" gives me more of a proximity feeling.

And yeah, I think in the 2+ years I've been with guitarnoise, I've looked at that forum maybe twice. Never really peaked my interest, probably because I'm not writing any songs yet. (Also because I find it difficult to let someone know how I feel about lyrics without the music.)]]> Guitar Players Discussion Taso https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115683 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115679 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 10:01:29 +0000 Maybe should be: Yeah it hurts….to be so close TO you that should fit, as it's the same number of syllables...just sing it quickly/slowly based on the length of the words. here are my suggestions for the other parts:


All I can say I never did -8 syllables
And I can say I never did- 8 syllables

Was thinking…my pride too big for you -9 syllables
I've been thinkin' my pride was too big-9 syllables]]> Guitar Players Discussion JasonColucci https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115679 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115572 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 01:02:40 +0000 Guitar Players Discussion Ignar Hillström https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115572 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115568 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:47:31 +0000
Is: Yeah it hurts….to be so close with you
Maybe should be: Yeah it hurts….to be so close TO you
(not a big enough difference to matter though...I think that's from having to help my fiance' proofread her papers)

Is: Was thinking…my pride too big for you
Maybe should be: Was thinking…IS (was?) my pride too big for you
(Again, not a big thing...it just leaves me wondering what tense the phrase should be in)

Is: All I can say I never did
Maybe should be: All I can say IS (IS THAT?) I never did


None of these are big or even important to the complete understanding of the phrases, much less the songs, however you may want to look into them anyway.

If I'm being to anal about things, someone let me know. I know I'm not right in the head sometimes.]]> Guitar Players Discussion gunslinger https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115568 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115565 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:36:14 +0000
I had. I have.
You had. You have.

I did not have.
You did not have.

:)]]> Guitar Players Discussion JosephLefty https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115565 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115564 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:33:38 +0000 The second song really didn't build an image. It seems to rely more on emotion.
Like I said I like both songs, but the 1st one took me to a place with cloudy skies, in a field, in the spring (I know it didn't really name a season but that image came up anyway, maybe because of the flowers and birds) while I was in that place you laid the emotions on me.(and it even rained while I was there)]]> Guitar Players Discussion Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115564 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115562 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:31:27 +0000
Ex. I(pronoun) have to go to the store
The store(noun) had to close down.

We have to get a pint.
The brewery had to send more beer because of us.

(in your case)
You don't have to eat stale pretzles because they're here.
The pretzles had to be thrown away because they were stale.


I'll try to see if my fiance' can come on and take a look. She's actually an English major, and if she has the time I'm sure she wouldnt mind helping in the least. It doesnt have to be perfect (people use slang terms in songs every day), but I understand the concern to make it understandable.]]> Guitar Players Discussion gunslinger https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115562 https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115560 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 00:15:02 +0000 Guitar Players Discussion Ignar Hillström https://guitarnoise.forum/guitar-players-discussion/i-know-its-kinda-lame-but-could-use-some-help/#post-115560