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12/12/2007 6:17 am
Try telling Jimi Hendrix, John Mayer or John Scofield not to play it funky. How much do you wanna bet the people who wrote these things aren't in successful bands? The one about avoiding anything with the words "blues jam" in it says it all. I guess that means Cream sucked?
12/12/2007 12:28 pm
jonnyguitar,
Playing it funky and playing funk are alittle different Jimi could get away with it cuz he could rock..John Mayer and John Scofield... :roll: come on there not even rock
"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!
12/12/2007 7:07 pm
jonnyguitar,
Playing it funky and playing funk are alittle different Jimi could get away with it cuz he could rock..John Mayer and John Scofield... :roll: come on there not even rock
No, they aren't different. Adding some funk licks to your blues playing(Voodoo Child)makes it funky, and being funky makes it funk. Blues/funk to be more accurate. And John Mayer IS rock. What do you call someone who play blues, jazz, alt and pop? ROCK!
Jimi Could get away with it "cuz" he could rock? Well that explains is! Doing any of this stuff doesn't matter, because if you rock, you can do stuff like that and still rock! Thank you for illustrating what really matters. Talent.
12/12/2007 7:43 pm
jonny guit,
first this whole thing was a joke so don't take the list or too me seriously.
What do you call someone who play blues, jazz, alt and pop?
You call them someone who plays blues, jazz, alt or pop...but NOT rock.
I do think John mayer can play and I don't know how I would classify him but I won't put him in the Rock category maybe pop.
just because they use an electric guitar doesn't make them rock, plus he definitely gets negative marks for the weird face contortions he makes
"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!
12/12/2007 8:03 pm
Mayer has his own catagory...
I call it Mock.
12/12/2007 9:15 pm
Hee hee - time for some more rules. I love this one....
HOW TO SING THE BLUES
If you are new to Blues music, or like it but never really understood the why and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:
1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes - sort f: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound."
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch...ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause an alligator is chomping on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whisky glass
11. Bad places for the Blues:
a. The Mall
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses
12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.
13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund
14. Blues is not a matter of colour. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly people also got a leg up on the Blues.
15. If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
17. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
19. Blues Name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example: Blind Lime Jefferson, Pegleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
20. No matter how tragic your life is: if you're rich enough to own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry!!!!!
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
12/12/2007 9:43 pm
12/12/2007 9:44 pm
"4) Don't play reggae unless you are in Bad Brains."
1 - I never heard of Bad Brains.
2 - Good job the Clash never took any notice, innit?
No such thing as rules of rock'n'roll - rock'n'roll's all about breaking the rules.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
13/12/2007 10:33 am
That Blues list is very funny.
13/12/2007 2:21 pm
That blues generator website is awesome! Very funny.
13/12/2007 4:34 pm
Teamwork- A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
14/12/2007 6:06 pm
Bad Brains, I never heard of them until I met them. Dr. Know introduced me to Kitaro (no kidding) and HR is, well, unique. He did tell me that they started playing Reggae and they wern't making any money and he and his brother went and saw a punk band and said "Hey, we can do that" and the rest is history.
I saw Jethro Tull this past weekend (3rd time, they did about 15 minutes of "Thick as a Brick", wonderful). Anyway, what I really like was I watched the show from the side of the stage. Martin Barre had two guitars, and I think he only changed once.
I heard a female African-American (political correctness ahoy!) DJ on the radio one day break into the end of a blues song where the man was singing about how his woman mistreated him, she was great. "You poor little man, I feel so sorry for you, she was so mean" and snickering as she said it. It's been hard for me to listen to the blues with a straight since then.
A number of years ago, I was watching some band. Unimportant who they were, but for some reason, I got this idea: "I am really getting tired of some kid who has never had to work extra hours to make the electric bill or hitch rides to work because his car had a flat and he can't afford to fix it tell me what is going wrong with the world. I have always had a problem with protest music, as a big problem with spoiled brat punk bands. Probably why I didn't last long in that genre.
Interesting thing about the first list is how much of it deals with "signing up with a major label." Like, is it just me, or is that as much a anti-reality for musicians as going to a coffee shop and seeing a sign that says "Dragon Parking Only."
A few rules from me:
1: Don't keep playing at clubs that give you the line "My cousin is going to run the sound tonight" and then tell you at the end of the night that "your sound man drank up all your money" and as you leave, pennieless, over hear people say "they sounded like crap."
2: When you look at the guitar player and suggest the chord "D-minor" and the guitar player looks back with a puzzled look, reconsider the band you're in.
3: DON'T LET OTHER BANDS USE YOUR EQUIPMENT!!!!! (Unless you are friends with them, and even then, watch out.)
4: When your doing really well, and the crowd is really getting into it, and the band that is playing after you comes up to you and says "Could you end it after the next song", you know the attitude.....just leave. Politely say "OK" and tell the crowd, "We've been asked to go."
5: If you leave practice and the sun is coming up, stay with the band. If you arrive at every practice only to find at least one member abscent, it's not gonna happen.
6: If it's no longer fun, and the practices become a chore and the gigs become a job that you don't like, leave.
Brain-cleansing music for brain-numbing times in a brain dead world
http://www.oenyaw.com
14/12/2007 6:40 pm
oenyaw,
thanks for the update on Bad Brains for those who didn't know. Actaully there is a movie called Hardcore with alot of Bad Brains footage. I can't remember if their reggae stuff was on there.
Your rules are real though and I think they are pretty good advice from what I see.
"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!
15/12/2007 5:29 pm
There are no rules for bands. Do whatever you want , what pleases you . If playing it makes you happy , chances are there are others who will be happy to listen . What people wear while playing is a personal choice and matters naught in the way a band sounds , which to me has always been the important thing . Props can be used if they are entertaining . That's what a musician does , ENTERTAIN . An audience is there to have fun . The band is there to have fun . The two things are related .
P.S. Can anybody explain to me why in every publicity photo of a band nobody is smiling ? Aren't they happy to be in the band they're in ? This is a pet peeve of mine .
If I claim to be a wise man , it surely means that I don't know .
15/12/2007 6:40 pm
P.S. Can anybody explain to me why in every publicity photo of a band nobody is smiling ? Aren't they happy to be in the band they're in ? This is a pet peeve of mine .
You may recall ... This was something that distinguished Van Halen from most other bands: VH (at least Eddie and DLR) smiled or laughed in their photos. They became somewhat known for this unrockmanlike behavior.
-=tension & release=-