https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 09:26:38 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381131 Sat, 16 Feb 2013 22:20:12 +0000
I liked the mp3 thanks for doing it :D .
I'll redo it without the 6 key changes. Actually I liked the key changes, in a musiclly sparse song like this I think they add interest

cheers

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381131 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381130 Sat, 16 Feb 2013 16:41:04 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381130 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381129 Sat, 16 Feb 2013 07:57:46 +0000
Kudos for the experimenting :mrgreen:

I'd have to say this one would have to grow on me, but there are "moments" that seem to come together........
I think you put together some vivid details in different parts of the song.

........I still say you learn something new from every song you write and record.....What were your insights on this one? You can always reuse the bits that work in other projects.

Thanks for sharing :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381129 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381124 Sat, 16 Feb 2013 01:25:13 +0000 Rather than change the name of the song, I changed the last line. There are a few other minor edits to the lyric as well.

BTW: I don't think the guy in the song ever actually pulls the trigger. "He does what he does everyday."

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12168827

There’s a cell phone thats on silent in the glove box, with a gun
and a magazine with photographs of boys. Joseph can’t tell anyone
Of the vacant place in his heart


At 3AM he goes out to the car, cocks the gun
He barely notices the noise. No one could ever know
The emptiness in his heart

He does what he does everyday
He thinks that God’s too far away

A brief moment of his childhood in the basement of a friend
An Uncle who remains unnamed. It can never be revealed
It’s desolate in his heart

He’d be a pilot on a journey to a planet out in space
If he thought there was a chance to change. Maybe some creature there
Could see his abandoned heart

Chorus

He’s married; he has children, a church a home a job
Ten years with his second wife. The first one almost saw the shadow
That hovers over his heart

Afraid to show himself, afraid to cry out loud
He thinks that he must end his life. The world could see his pain
When a bullet fills his vacant heart]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381124 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381112 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 01:31:12 +0000
I think you did well on this sensitive subject, for me the cycle of abuse is clear. Interesting that James alluded to American Beauty as that was my first thought as well, especially with the last line. In my mind he didn't pull the trigger at all, he was shot by someone else his second wife maybe. I wonder how many people shoot themselves through the heart when they commit suicide, Id go for the head if it was me.
I think Id be inclined to change the title though to "Joseph and his empty heart".

cheers

Paul
Thanks for reading and commenting on this. From what I know of abused and abusive people, they want the world to know they hurt but they express their pain through cutting themselves, food addiction, alcohol or drug addiction, and staying depressed to the edge of suicide Some exhibit sociopathic behaviors. I wanted to paint a portrait of a reprehensible character in a sympathetic way.
I agree that a bullet filling the empty heart is not a practical way to commit suicide. I just liked the idea of the bullet filling the emptiness.

While I have seen "American Beauty" I don't remember how the plot went.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381112 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381108 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:55:56 +0000
I think you did well on this sensitive subject, for me the cycle of abuse is clear. Interesting that James alluded to American Beauty as that was my first thought as well, especially with the last line. In my mind he didn't pull the trigger at all, he was shot by someone else his second wife maybe. I wonder how many people shoot themselves through the heart when they commit suicide, Id go for the head if it was me.
I think Id be inclined to change the title though to "Joseph and his empty heart".

cheers

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381108 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381105 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 21:25:24 +0000
Music melody and chords is in rough draft form at the current time. My recording area is in my office and I don't have time set aside for it when we have business. I'm debating between Key of Bm and Dm. Chorus changes to the key of C. It may start in Bm, change to Dm later in the song.
There is rhyme, .Boys / noise unnamed / change (a stretch, it's true) wife / life and, of course, heart heart heart heart]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381105 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381103 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 20:50:13 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381103 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381098 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 17:24:47 +0000
However, I'm wondering if the title should change......In other words, I don't think the lines support the title; especially with the title not in the song..........I think we've all done it from time to time.......start off with one idea but switch to another.........

........hotel is the first word I think of when I see/hear the word "vacant"; next word(s) would probably be airplane toilet......so what I am getting at, and it might be more personal opinion, is we can/should use images to support a main idea in a song.......after the read, I'd say the title could be "Joseph and His Suicidal Heart"

.........just $.02
I wouldn't want "Suicidal" in the title because the listener is not sure where it is going till the last verse. Perhaps "Empty Heart" would have been better. Vacant just felt better at the time I wrote it down, and it is the description I use in the first verse. I didn't want to repeat the same last line for each verse so I used variations in the other verses

emptiness
desolate
abandoned
shadow
empty

When my thesaurus ran out, I knew the song had to end.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381098 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381095 Thu, 14 Feb 2013 15:59:25 +0000
However, I'm wondering if the title should change......In other words, I don't think the lines support the title; especially with the title not in the song..........I think we've all done it from time to time.......start off with one idea but switch to another.........

........hotel is the first word I think of when I see/hear the word "vacant"; next word(s) would probably be airplane toilet......so what I am getting at, and it might be more personal opinion, is we can/should use images to support a main idea in a song.......after the read, I'd say the title could be "Joseph and His Suicidal Heart"

.........just $.02]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/1-15-joseph-and-his-vacant-heart-with-mp3-added-2-15/#post-381095