https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 05:10:53 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-129080 Fri, 30 Sep 2005 06:56:00 +0000
I saw you dancing a slow waltz, leaning on some sleazy guy,
You looked as if if you were somewhere else, when I caught your eye.
I made my way 'cross the dance floor, passed the DJ on the way,
Asked him to play an old country song, I could't dance but I sure could sway.... That was my favorite part. I could really picture that.
We danced all night, and it felt so right,
We danced darn near till dawn,
I hadn't been living, existing maybe,
With you, I felt reborn. The first line may be cliche, but I think it fits with a Country tune.
We got married soon after, I knew you were right for me,
The first time I saw you dancing, you captivated me.
But you just wanted go out, this house was never a home,
So I watched the sports on the TV, just me and a beer all alone Just forgot the "to" in there, but I didn't mind the captivated line. Again, it's Country.
You danced all night, came home at dawn,
Kissed some guy goodnight at the door,
Slept on the sofa, you said there's no hope fer,
You and me any more. Just a thought, maybe you could change line 2 to:

"Kissed some sleazy guy at the door."

And maybe, "Showed me the sofa," or something, 'cause we typically get the short end of the stick when it comes to sleeping arrangements? But I don't know, I don't have any ex-wives, so....

(Guitar solo)
Now you're still out there dancing, every night on my alimony, Great.
You don't care who you dance with, as long it isn't me. Whoa, no ex-wives, but I can relate to that line. That's great.
And the guys all watch you rocking, hormones all over the floor,
When the one who loves you sits home all alone, just wishing to see you once more. This was nice, but I pictured this poor guy pining for his girl, then suddenly he was talking about dancing on her grave--not exactly a conundrum--it just seemed a bit sudden. Maybe just for me. Then again, it's Country.
All in all, I liked it. Thanks for the read, Vic.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-129080 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128899 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 20:13:01 +0000
You tarantella'd my head

Good job!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Karla https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128899 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128893 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:54:35 +0000
I agree with slow play agreeing with chris :D
it's a great song, no worries about the metre and stuff, I trust you to have it all sorted out.
I especially like these: I could't dance but I sure could sway.... been there, done that... :wink: You danced all over my feelings,
You tarantella'd my head,
You two-stepped all over my life,
But I'll dance all over your grave when you're dead, know what? I, too have a line about dancing on somebody's grave somewhere in my fragments file, oh I think I even used it in some song... anyways i thought it was funny you thought of the same thing:) works really well with your song.

like it a lot, vic:)
cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128893 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128888 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:47:00 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group smokindog https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128888 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128815 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 07:55:19 +0000
"Could cause the pub to divide into two camps...."

I doubt it, unless the particular ex-wife this was written about (well not exactly, but with hindsight seems to fit.....) calls into the pub....pretty unlikely, she never liked guitar music, never liked me playing guitar, and on a scale of 1-10 gave me minus 8 in terms of encouragement...I'm very lucky to be with my Marilyn, who always listens, always has some constructive criticism, and ALWAYS encourages....even comes to the pub every tuesday to listen, after the bingo....what a woman!!!!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128815 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128809 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 07:36:36 +0000
:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128809 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128804 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 07:22:32 +0000 Beautifully told I agree.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128804 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128767 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 05:37:10 +0000
Could cause the pub to divide into two camps and start tipping beer all over each other when you test this one out.... Get pictures.. :shock: :shock:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128767 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128762 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 05:11:00 +0000
At first I didn't the words "sweaty guy" but as I read on it felt
more in tune with the rest of the song. Although you still might
think of changing "sweaty" only because it comes early in the
song and could tend to be a bit of a turn off. Sleazy comes to
mind. Other than that you wrote a good country song which I
hope you record so we can hear it.

In some ways I think I may have written about the same "Dancer"
in my song this week.

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128762 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128554 Wed, 28 Sep 2005 07:44:52 +0000
Yup, that's country all right! Ordinarily that wouldn't be much of compliment coming from me, but since that's what you were going for, great job. :) I especially like how you pull it out of the country cliche at the end with the "dancing on your grave" part.

There are just two lines that I'd have to hear before I'm convinced that they won't come off a little on the corny side, and they are:
We danced all night, and it felt so right and
The first time I saw you dancing, you captivated me. Looking forward to hearing it.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/dancer-wk47/#post-128554