https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 12:54:49 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-65093 Sat, 14 Aug 2004 08:02:19 +0000
First of all, keep truckin' man.

Onto the subject of song writing, I try to write tons of songs. Its the best way to get good at it.

You seem to have lots of heart, lots of faith and lots of confidence, thats a good start.

All-in-all, you need to just step back and breathe and get an idea of how you want to present this to your audience. A line that tells a story and is poetry is MUCH better than a story. My favorite example is the first line from a song by Brad Paisley, "Whiskey Lullaby", it goes:

"She put him out, like the burning end of a midnight cigarette"

That line tells a bit of story but does it through poetry, thats what you should be aiming for. He could have said something like:

"She broke it off, and gave up on thier relationship"

But it lacks poetry and style.


You need to just step back, make a mental outline of a story and how it fits into a song format with verses and choruses, inject some poetry that is simple but effective, and try to get it to rhyme. Keep in mind this is how I sometimes do it, and is not YOUR way, but try it.


Good luck man

Bryan]]> Sunday Songwriters Group mstry_mn https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-65093 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64927 Wed, 11 Aug 2004 14:04:38 +0000



EVERYONE REMEMBER MY NAME!!! MATT EBERLY!!! 8) 8) :!: :!: 8) lol]]> Sunday Songwriters Group johnandhole https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64927 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64899 Wed, 11 Aug 2004 01:28:21 +0000
And good luck with the visitation rights, like I told you before, took me 12 months, but I got there in the end, DO NOT EVER GIVE UP!!!

Vic...]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64899 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64882 Tue, 10 Aug 2004 21:47:03 +0000
Well i will buy that book anyways (i dont know if u were being a smart a** to me but im still buying it)

And I found singing lessons too!!! ! im excited.. Well if anyone Knows any other books.. Please please reply]]> Sunday Songwriters Group johnandhole https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64882 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64877 Tue, 10 Aug 2004 21:24:25 +0000 I completely sympathize with your plight with your daughter. In light of that, the best advice I can offer in response to your last post: I just need help translating al (sic) this into lyrics.. is there any books you would recommend.. Or is there any lyric writing classes?? ?? Somone please reply!! After reading your earlier posts the book I would recommend the most is the American Heritage Dictionary. This wonderful tool will not only enable you to learn how to spell correctly, but also give you the tools to communicate in the English language in a way that your listeners will be able to comprehend the raw emotion that would like to convey.

Don't get me wrong, The last thing I want to do is discourage you and I truly applaud your "battle against the system" for your daughter... But seriously, do you really think you will become "rich and famous" (as you mentioned in the first post) through writing songs without a normal working knowledge of your native tongue? Come on! Do yourself and that daughter a favor and get your butt back to school.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group yoshiie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64877 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64799 Mon, 09 Aug 2004 20:58:10 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group johnandhole https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64799 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64796 Mon, 09 Aug 2004 19:18:45 +0000 What you are writing about is so true for so many men and we as a gender do not get a lot credit for being important in the lives of our children. The court system is basis towards women. I know this is going to upset a lot of folks here but it so rare that a father receives any justice in that system. Most of the time men are seen as the ones that need to pay for not to rise the children. In your case you have the added problem of your age. One of the things that might come is that her Mom might try and adopt your daughter this will cut you out of the loop but proper. So be ready and get the help of a lawyer stand up for your rights you do have some even at your age. I can hear form what you have written that you want to be part of her life so what ever you do make sure she knows that, keep writing and write songs to her, let her know that she is on your mind and in your heart The writing will help you stay clear with what you feel and think about this situation. When you write more about what you feel rather then what you are going to do. If the mother of your daughter truly loves you one day you will both be old enough to be together then you and your little one will be together. I now that it feels like it’s going to be forever but time moves on and we get older and before you know it you will be all grown up what ever the heck that is. Please keep working on the music it will help you keep sane in this most painful crisis. I hope this has made some sense the main thing is don’t give up or give in you can and will be part of her life but maybe not as soon as you want to be.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group bluenotefla https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64796 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64720 Sun, 08 Aug 2004 02:50:30 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group johnandhole https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64720 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64715 Sat, 07 Aug 2004 22:33:28 +0000
You've got a good strong first verse, that's a start - but from the way you wrote, I'd guess this is still a bit like an open wound - what you might need to do is take a step back, get a little perspective - writing from an angry view point is good, but you're thinking a little too emotionally to be clear headed.......

Write the song as if you're writing it about someone else who's in the same position, and you're trying to make them feel better about what's happening.....

Then you need to work out where you're going with the song.......

You could write a little about how you feel about your daughter, why you split with her mother, do you want to get back with her - or not - maybe if you're feeling that way, make the bridge a plea to God, and finish off with a plea to the mother, "Don't keep me out of her life", something like that, and a plea to the daughter, "Please don't ever forget me, I'm always here when you need me, and someday you will", something along those lines........

If it helps, I know what you're going through - my daughters were 3 and a 1/2 and 1 and 1/2 when I split with their mother, it was 12 months before I got to see them again......you're an optimistic, upbeat guy so you've got to believe it'll work out for you - have faith........I never stopped fighting for the right to see my kids and in the end I won....!

Hope this helps,

Vic.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64715 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64690 Sat, 07 Aug 2004 15:34:27 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group johnandhole https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/my-first-song-ever/#post-64690