https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:20:20 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174376 Sun, 30 Apr 2006 22:31:43 +0000 Frank]]> Sunday Songwriters Group bluenotefla https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174376 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174346 Sun, 30 Apr 2006 17:12:38 +0000
Rob]]> Sunday Songwriters Group morkalg https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174346 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174340 Sun, 30 Apr 2006 16:13:16 +0000
Welcome to SSG - good song certainly for the metal style the death imagery is spot on.

You've fallen victim to the board's auto-censor as we all do from time to time - but stll a good kick donkey death metal thrash :wink:

Good stuff

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174340 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174259 Sun, 30 Apr 2006 03:32:54 +0000
OK, if I was playing Devil's Advocate and had to pick fault with something, it'd be this couplet...

"But she lays dreaming
Of the life he rent"

Something about it doesn't look right - I dunno, it may sound OK, but on paper? It just doesn't flow for me....

If you changed the previous line ever so slightly, you could perhaps get away with something like....

He can't believe this
The dead should lie silently,
But she lies dreaming
Of a life ended violentlv......

Just my two penn'orth, and I'm nit-picking really ....I think you've done a cool job on this - may not be the first song you've written, but if it's the first you've written to order, so to speak - job done! And a good job too!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174259 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174157 Sat, 29 Apr 2006 15:53:57 +0000

Welcome to SSG

It's nice to see another interesting take on this assignment.

Good Job

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174157 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174001 Fri, 28 Apr 2006 10:34:45 +0000 welcome to SSG forum, this is a great effort well done. I kept getting flashes of CSI (the Miami crossover NY episode just screened here) when reading this. I think you capture that macabre / thriller feeling here very well.

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-174001 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173978 Fri, 28 Apr 2006 06:22:59 +0000
I feel the heavy metal vibe. :twisted:

I really can't find anything that bothers me about your song.

All GN member's welcome to join in the SSG.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Ghost https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173978 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173935 Fri, 28 Apr 2006 01:51:39 +0000
Nice first song. About the only minor issue I have, was that I found it a bit hard to focus in on the characters in the song. There seem to be two but it seemed to flit around between them a bit and thereby preventing me from really connecting with either.
Inside minds predisposed to wonder
His lies of life she will tear assunder
Theres no escaping the ghosts of our past
She floats within screaming justice at last I really like this verse. Although the one minor suggestion might be altering the last line to something like "She bursts in screaming justice at last". I guess the word "floats" suggests a more calm type demeanor which is at odds with the "screaming".

Well done mate. 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bennett https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173935 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173933 Fri, 28 Apr 2006 01:39:14 +0000
This a really good first post in here , this flows really well ..

Good writting

Hope you stay around and write some more

Hilch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-173933 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-17325 Thu, 27 Apr 2006 20:16:53 +0000
The Dead Stay Silent

From the grave a secret slips
Burning words on her icy lips
He will not hide from his horrid deeds
She will not stay here amongst the weeds

Inside minds predisposed to wonder
His lies of life she will tear assunder
Theres no escaping the ghosts of our past
She floats within screaming justice at last

He can't believe this
The dead stay silent
But she lays dreaming
Of the life he rent
Eyes start to see him
In a different light
The silent dead
Sing bright this night

Their asking questions to his cracking face
Something is different, it's all out of place
So many dead could he be the reason
Comes the death of his hunting season

From the grave points a finger
Into his heart like a hell hot stinger
The game is over he has gone to far
The dead have won, now falls his star

He can't believe this
The dead stay silent
But she lays dreaming
Of the life he rent
Eyes start to see him
In a different light
The silent dead
Sing bright this night]]> Sunday Songwriters Group morkalg https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/new-guy-the-dead-stay-silent/#post-17325