https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 19:57:40 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199080 Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:47:40 +0000
I thought they made the song something special

Trevor]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199080 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199078 Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:38:27 +0000 DONT do it, I like the last two in fact when I read them I thought I though "yes". I was really surprised to then read the subsequent comments. Those lines work for me because they personalise this song which could otherwise fall into the "just anther protest" song category. For the majority of the song there is a strong statement being made and at the end, the vulnerablity of the narrator is exposed, thats great as far as Im concerned, for me its what makes this song. Well done.

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199078 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199002 Sat, 16 Sep 2006 15:25:56 +0000
I think I may have a little more insight than most as to the creation of this song, so for once I know exactly what's going through someone's mind as they're writing, and bearing that in mind, the last two lines seem a little like an afterthought, a little throw-away.....

But the rest of it works well, and doesn't it feel good to get something that's been bugging you out of your system!

I get a kind of slow-rock vibe from this - lots of palm muting and chugging powerchords......then heavier and faster for the chorus.......

Good writing!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-199002 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198991 Sat, 16 Sep 2006 09:08:21 +0000
I'll probably take those last two lines out. Glad you all got the message of the song though. I got the idea when someone got so zealous over the way me and my friends dress. I'll spare the details of how far he's willing to go. But it basically got me thinking: of all the things wrong with the world, this is the cause he decides to take up as his own? Hence where this song comes from.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198991 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198959 Sat, 16 Sep 2006 02:10:40 +0000
I think I'm with John on the end part. If the whole point is just a slam against some religious right types who are majoring on modesty at the momment, then I think you are selling your talent short. You could take the time to get inside their head ( since you are using first person ) to damn them with their own words/thoughts/deeds, rather than just making a joke out of it. One has the sound-byte friendly punch, but the other has much more power over all.

One the other hand, if you just want a fun pot-shot, then I'm hearing a punk inspired rocker... fast, catchy melody, the whole deal.

Also, there's a lot of repeated words in this piece ( though, my assignment for this week puts me in a glass house here ). One suggestion would be for the last line of the chorus, change:
I ignore the causes everybody knows
So I can fight against skimpy clothes To:

I ignore the causes everybody knows
To wage my war against skimpy clothes

This eliminates one of the uses of the word 'fight' and also has more the ring of a religious person.

P.S.: Before I get any flames saying I'm bashing religious folk, I'm merely trying to get the author's perspective, who justifiably finds it odd that such people ignore so much wrong doing and focus so much attention on how we dress. I am a Christian myself, but I have a hard time grasping this also.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198959 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198847 Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:40:32 +0000
I have to agree with the others musically. I see the an acoustic or
clean electric (or both) on the verses and going distorted power
chords on the chorus.

The last verse is not to my liking. I think you make some good
points during the song and close it out with a crude joke.

I'm not one who's against a crude joke now and then but I think that
here it hurts the rest of the song.

Of course that's just my opinion

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198847 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198706 Thu, 14 Sep 2006 20:07:38 +0000
And I kinda agree with hilch about the music. I'm hearing just an acoustic guitar here, nothing else for the whole song, but slow and quite quiet in the verses with louder strumming in the chorus.

Pete]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Embrace_the_Darkness https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198706 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198678 Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:08:18 +0000
I am hearing slow start acustic then more rockier as it goes along the chorus loud in ya face sort of stuff , then briing it back for the verses .

I really enjoyed the chorus very much although I feel there is a word missing in here

"I don't fight against aids overseas
I don't fight against disease "

I don't fight against ( pick a word game ) disease ...

I'm thinking :

I don't fight against aids overseas
I don't fight against your disease

that way it fits your shirt line

Just a thought

Any way I like it and I hope you get time to record it for us

cheers

hilch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-198678 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-20390 Thu, 14 Sep 2006 08:03:46 +0000
I am a zealot who rights wrong in the world
My cause isn't poverty and people who's hopes are thin
Don't fight disease, bring bad guys to their knees
My cause is fighting against an inch of skin

I don't fight against aids overseas
I don't fight against disease
I don't fight terrorism
I'm caught up in my sexism
I fight you being a flirt
I fight your low cut shirt
I ignore the causes everybody knows
So I can fight against skimpy clothes

People fighting over oil, blood beginning to boil
Look at these things and I die inside
Not the rising price of gas, or global warming
But because your pants are low ride

I don't fight against aids overseas
I don't fight against disease
I don't fight terrorism
I'm caught up in my sexism
I fight you being a flirt
I fight your low cut shirt
I ignore the causes everybody knows
So I can fight against skimpy clothes

I ignore the causes everybody knows
I fight against skimpy clothes
The image of her burned into my mind
While the world's problems, I am blind]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/owa-week-45/#post-20390