https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 08:15:58 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-155019 Sat, 28 Jan 2006 06:07:58 +0000
Oh and I don't think anyone pointed this out, you said
"You've been our all night "

You meant "out" right?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Saber https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-155019 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154847 Fri, 27 Jan 2006 17:38:56 +0000
read / ran / scrubbed / opened

I like the suggested revision "I'm waitin feelin kind of mean" for the same reason: "waitin" is stronger than "start to feelin kind of mean".

I also agree that the bridge would be stronger if you directly referenced the antagonist.

Good job!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group iambictreat https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154847 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154396 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 20:06:58 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group katreich https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154396 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154373 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 17:44:31 +0000
Nice job. I agree you may want to include something about the guy in the bridge. Keeping with the card theme, "lose" kinda rhymes with "deuce." Maybe you can work that in there. Congrats.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group P0RR https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154373 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154361 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 16:25:56 +0000 Black Jack On the Red Queen
Keep shuffling til I find that four to my ongoing "wish I'd written that!" list. Wonderful line.

I think that some of this will get tighter when you try singing it and I'll be very interested in hearing what kind of music you're hearing at this point.

Now I'd better get going on my assignment :wink:

Looking forward to more, Kathy.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154361 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154355 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 15:51:29 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group katreich https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154355 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154315 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:42:47 +0000 Black Jack On the Red Queen
Keep shuffling til I find that four
Im waitin feelin kind of mean
Just sitting staring at the door
You've been our all night
Just to see if I would care
But I got nothing else to do
So I'm cheatin at solitaire Id also would like to see the theme of the bridge to include your “errant baby” something like:
I got no but myself
To blame if I should loose
I let walk right out that door
You needed no excuse I know that's not quite there either but I think because the bridge is the turning point in the song it would be more powerful if it included the “ratbag”.

Cheers

pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-154315 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-14913 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 05:49:37 +0000
Well I've read all my magazines
Ran to the grocery store
Scrubbed the house clean
Can't stand to be here no more
Opened up the windows
To let in the country air
Got nothing else to do
So I'm cheatin at solitaire.

Black Jack On the Red Queen
Keep shuffling til I find that four
I start to feelin kind of mean
Just sitting staring at the door
You've been our all night
Probably just to see if I care
I got nothing else to do
So I'm cheatin at solitaire

I got no one but myself
To blame if I lose
So if I stack the deck
I need no excuse

Got a jug of margaritas
Baby I can go all night
And when you come stumbling in
You'll have an awful fright
Better come crawlin on your knees
That's if you dare
Cause I've worked up quite a temper
Sittin here cheatin
Sittin here steamin
Cheatin at solitaire.

Kathy Reichert 1/24/06]]> Sunday Songwriters Group katreich https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-12/#post-14913