https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:15:17 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57018 Fri, 19 Mar 2004 03:46:05 +0000 :D ;D :D ;D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57018 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57017 Fri, 19 Mar 2004 03:41:18 +0000 Um, maybe I should have inserted one of these in my post:  ;) because I wasn't trying to sound hurt or anyhting, I was just saying thank-you in a self- depreciating sort of way. Thank you for your, er, concern.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57017 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57016 Fri, 19 Mar 2004 03:04:43 +0000 Thanks for all your input, it definitly helped me to see all the stupid mistakes I had made! Thanks again!

Hi Uke,

ummm.... I don't think anyone was saying that these points were either 1) mistakes, or 2) stupid.  The whole process of writing a song is just that, a process.  Like any other kind of writing.  You begin with an idea, kind of flesh it out in an outline (on paper or in your head) come up with a first draft, look it over, get other people to look it over, get their ideas on it, see where it could be improved, etc..., then do one or several re-writes until it's just the way you want it.

We kind of act as each others proof-readers here.  We read each others work, and give our ideas on it.  It's up to the author to take it or not, but I've seen some pretty rough stuff evolve into some really nice work in just the few weeks I've been around here.  Suggesting improvements is not at all the same as pointing out stupid mistakes.  

-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57016 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57015 Fri, 19 Mar 2004 02:35:51 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57015 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57014 Sun, 14 Mar 2004 17:53:19 +0000
Welcome to the SSG - glad you stopped by.

This is a well written, heartfelt piece. The chorus is effective.  I'd agree with all the points Marv makes so won't reiterate them.

However, part of the second verse and the chorus are at odds to me.  It seems this person wants to be free of this relationship from everything that's been said to this point, then wants to make up and then immediately in the chorus wants to be free again.  You may want to rethink the third line of this part of the verse to bring it more into line with the rest of the song.

I'm stuck here in a hard place
Between joy and emptiness
I wish that we could make up
And forget our bitterness

Otherwise good stuff

Bob  :)

]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57014 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57013 Sat, 13 Mar 2004 02:04:16 +0000
So my first thoughts on this song are that it's a tad longish, but fairly decent.

You've got a sort of misleading line going on in the first verse

Standing in the doorway
Listening to the rain
Falling on the sidewalk
I think of you again

That third line gives the impression that you are falling the sidewalk rather than the rain. Maybe that's just in my head. perhaps "As it hits the sidewalk" or something like that would make it read better.

Your rhyme scheme throughout kind of jumps around between A B A B and A B C B. You might want to look at that and see if you can tighten it up.

I'd substitute "Set" for "Make" in the chorus. It gives a little bit of internal rhyme (which never hurts). And setting someone free has more "action" to it than making them free... in my humble opinion anyway. You might also say "get over me" instead of "you're over me".

Like I said. This seems solid. Just had a few suggestions.

Welcome to the group.

-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-57013 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-1800 Sat, 13 Mar 2004 01:11:17 +0000
Let Me Out

Standing in the doorway
Listening to the rain
Falling on the sidewalk
I think of you again

It's time for me to leave
I can't take it when you're near
I'll find the time to grieve
When I get out of here

Let me out
Make me free
Let me go
You're over me

I used to have it good
But now that time is gone
Memories of a life we shared
Seem to go on and on

I'm stuck here in a hard place
Between joy and emptiness
I wish that we could make up
And forget our bitterness

Let me out
Make me free
Let me go
You're over me

I ignore those people
Who walk by me on the street
As I sit here crying
'Cause you made me complete

I guess there's nothing left
But I look forward to a better day
When I can look at you
In the eyes and say

Let me out
Make me free
Let me go
You're over me]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-19-let-me-out/#post-1800