https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 19:07:59 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61755 Fri, 04 Jun 2004 23:04:22 +0000
I love these:
It's a little rest stop
Sixty miles outside of Hell
They say it stands on the spot
Where Lucifer first fell
No one who lives there
Dares to ask or dares to tell
If there's a way to escape and also:I chanced a last chance exit was waiting for you to post a song since I got the feel you don't like long songs and I wanted to see what you think of;)
not bad :lol: yep I like it

greets
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61755 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61736 Fri, 04 Jun 2004 20:23:33 +0000 scratchmonkey said
I particularly like the "triplet rhymes" (for lack of a better term) in the verses and chorus, Insanity / me / free, Hell / fell / tell, Flame / shame / name, etc.., I have to agree with scratch on that... I'd call it a tri-rhyme-a-thon :lol:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Tokai 12 String https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61736 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61695 Fri, 04 Jun 2004 09:53:46 +0000
The more I read this, the more I like it. When I read "...I awoke in the township of Salamander" the first time, I thought it was rather forced. But by the time I got to the end of the song, I realized it's the heart of the piece. (yeah, I'm a bit slow on the up-take) And you describe the place very well.

I particularly like the "triplet rhymes" (for lack of a better term) in the verses and chorus, Insanity / me / free, Hell / fell / tell, Flame / shame / name, etc..,

The imagery is particularly powerful as well.
"Left of the yellow line,
On the road to insanity"
Sets up the idea of someone barrelling towards a head-on collision, and establishes the feeling of tension and impending doom very well.

Very nicely done.

-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-61695 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-2556 Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:22:10 +0000

V1

Left of the yellow line
On the road to insanity
I chanced a last chance exit
But my momentum carried me
The road it fell away
A black snake faithless and free
As it shed me like old skin

The world swirled
and I awoke in the township of Salamander

Chorus:
Salamander stands in burning flame
Attuned to fire, illuminated
Searching for darkness to hide my shame
But all of Salamander knows my name

V2
It's a little rest stop
Sixty miles outside of Hell
They say it stands on the spot
Where Lucifer first fell
No one who lives there
Dares to ask or dares to tell
If there's a way to escape

They feign pain
But they can't feel in the township of Salamander

Chorus

Br
No road leads out
Heed the graffiti
Somehow I doubt
The truth will set me free

Chorus

...

Doug Joy]]> Sunday Songwriters Group DougJoy https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-31-doug-joy/#post-2556