SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3 - Sunday Songwriters Group

RE: SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

progressions — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 09:40:07 +0000

That was really nice! A strong, simple recording and a cool, catchy song. I'd love to hear a more developed version with other instruments, it'd be great with a full band!Jeff

RE: SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

Vic Lewis VL — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:39:31 +0000

Yeah, it's been a while Neil - the mp3 was worth the wait, though. It's always difficult - especially with songs as wordy as yours usually are - to get the phrasing bang on when you first sing it, but you're pretty close.

Hey you've got enough songs there now for at least a triple CD!

Keep at the writing - well done, as usual!

:D :D :D

Vic

RE: SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

Joe — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:23:50 +0000

Love it, Neil. Lyrics and music. I like the way you fade out singing Time out. Terrific.

Joe

RE: SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

SlowPlay — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 06:37:51 +0000

Hey Neil,

This is a great song. It stays on track all the way through until the end where you turn it around ( "from defense to offense", I guess would be the way to put it this week ). And the chorus is brilliant; catchy and perfect in its lyrical simplicity.

I took a shot at rewriting one section:
everything's going bad
and you don't know what to do
the world's driving you mad
and you no longer have a clue It's not bad, but a little generic. Here's my first pass:
Now its out of the pan
and you're not fireproof
it's the case of the lost man
and you haven't got a clue << Your phrasing was better in this line, but it didn't fit the pun I was making quite as well

I know it's mixed methaphors, but it's food for thought.

RE: SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

BarnaBus RoX — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 07:35:34 +0000

Wow Neil

That was brilliant !!!!

When the Mp 3 first started I was thinking Eagles

This is really good mate

A Aussie movie a few years back was about these people who lived very ordinary lives but dad had a pool room . Entertainment room had his little bar and billard table and everything that was dear to the family went in the pool room..The Dad would say
"THATS GOING STRAIGHT IN THE POOL ROOM"

Well Niel this song should go straight to the pool room its a ripper and a keeper mate ..

Trev

The Movie was called " The Castle "

Very good

Smiggsy — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 04:16:36 +0000

I like it, man after my own heart... keep it up my friend.

SSG Week 32 - Time Out - with MP3

chefie — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:39:22 +0000

Hi All,

I've been on the sideline for a bit . . . appropo with this weeks assignment. I know I need some work on phrasing but here's a go at it . . .

http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart

TIME OUT

Day after day it's the same old thing
nothing ever changes
then the telephone rings
and it's a wake up call
for the rest of your life
though the rules haven't changed
you know the game's just not right

everything's going bad
and you don't know what to do
the world's driving you mad
and you no longer have a clue
everywhere you turn
someone's in your way
and there's only one thing
left for you to say
time out . . .time out . . . time out . . .time out

Pass the ball to someone else for a change
you're headed towards insanity
you're minds become deranged
and the day seems too long
and life too tough
and you begin to think
that you've had enough

you've lost your sense of humor
and you're under duress
and you want to pass the ball
but Life's a full court press
and time's running out
and you're not having any fun
and you've only one option
you know what must be done
call time out . . . time out . . . time out . . . time out

you gotta put the world on hold
and catch your breath
cause this bad luck's getting old
and you're under too much stress
gotta stop all this madness and find a way out
raise your voice loud enough
loud enough to shout
time out
time out
time out
time out

gotta get back in the game
and settle the score
take a look around you
somewhere there's more
and it make take some time to get there
but if you're having any doubt
if you need more time
take a time out
time out . . . time out . . . . time out