https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:00:58 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56011 Tue, 02 Dec 2003 03:54:04 +0000
I'm a captive man          looks made me a prisoner
Because of how I look   I'm a captive of my own face

Now I know you've had a lot of comment about this one but here's why I would keep it the way it is.

They'll tell you I'm sane

Whether you are sane or not does not justify the incarceration. Sometimes you have to give your public some freedom of interpretation. In this case someone might imagine that the person is insane and imagining all this in a psy ward. Then again someone might take it at face value and that's ok too.

I wail 'this crime isn't mine!'          wrongly accused of a heinous crime
As my fear spirals out of control     as my fear escapes my grasp

If justice is fair and even     justice is blind and my hope fades

My face will no longer be known
I can almost taste that freedom

(personal wish) I would like you to tell me what freedom tastes like to an imprisoned man.

His keys don't open my lock          His keys wont unlock my cage
As he laughs 'just one night more'     One more night is the jailers page



]]> Sunday Songwriters Group fontaine https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56011 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56010 Mon, 01 Dec 2003 02:20:47 +0000 The first verse is probably the weakest but reflects one of my problems which is to write lyrics first and, therefore, fill up all available space - something I'm working on.


What, exactly, do you mean by "fill up all available space"?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group markyesme https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56010 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56009 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 18:29:05 +0000
No melody in mind yet - unfortunately

Cheers

Bob ;)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56009 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56008 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 17:27:23 +0000

They know who I am
At least they think they do
I'm a captured man
But they don't have a clue
 
Chorus
Ask someone who loves me
I'm innocent, I'm sane
Behind bars swearing
I'm not the one to blame
 
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56008 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56007 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:33:33 +0000
First of all, great idea for a song topic. When you mentioned it, I thought, "Oh yeah, that makes sense. Why didn't I think of that?"

I agree with MJBird about the chorus: Ask Someone who loves me
They'll tell you I'm sane
I'm innocent, I'm pleading
I'm not the one to blame Maybe you have a good melody/rhythm in mind, but to me the second verse feels like it's one beat too short (well, I guess if you put the emphasis on the
"They'll" it works. I was putting it on the "tell").

One idea I thought of: Ask someone who loves me
They'll vouch my sanity
I'm innocent, I'm pleading -
why you blamin' me? or why do you blame me? Likewise, the last chorus could be: Ask someone who loves me
They'll vouch my sanity
I'm innocent, I tell you,
But you're blaming me. This way, the chorus is as if you're talking directly to the people blaming you.

Just a possibility...

- silly putty]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56007 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56006 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 10:36:17 +0000 I really only had a problem with the
"They'll tell you I'm sane" line.
If your singing or saying it...it
comes off sounding like "insane".
Not sure what I would do about it
and it probably is just me. :-/

]]> Sunday Songwriters Group MJBird https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-56006 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-1541 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 00:57:24 +0000
Had a difficult time with this one but it immediately struck me that these lines could be someone falsely accused of something who finds himself with a view of the justice system he doesn't particularly want.

The imagery that came to mind is that of imprisonment, mistaken identity, pleading, accused, shocked, miscarriage of justice etc.  So here goes:

++++++++++++++++++++++

They know who I am
Or just think they do
I'm a captive man
Because of how I look

Chorus
Ask Someone who loves me
They'll tell you I'm sane
I'm innocent, I'm pleading
I'm not the one to blame

A passing resemblance had me
Picked up by a police patrol
I wail 'this crime isn't mine!'
As my fear spirals out of control

Chorus
Ask Someone who loves me
They'll tell you I'm sane
I'm innocent, I'm pleading
I'm not the one to blame

I'll be free from this cell soon
If justice is fair and even
My face will no longer be known
I can almost taste that freedom

Chorus
Ask Someone who loves me
They'll tell you I'm sane
I'm innocent, I'm pleading
I'm not the one to blame

I can hear my jailor coming
His steps like a hammer on the floor
His keys don't open my lock
As he laughs 'just one night more'

Chorus
Ask Someone who loves me
They'll tell you I'm sane
I'm innocent, I'm pleading
I'm who they've chosen to blame

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The first verse is probably the weakest but reflects one of my problems which is to write lyrics first and, therefore, fill up all available space - something I'm working on.

The rest of it is fairly rough as well. ;)

Comments always welcome.

Bob :)
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-week-4-bob/#post-1541