https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:56:26 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270298 Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:27:49 +0000
Jim]]> Sunday Songwriters Group geoo https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270298 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270296 Tue, 06 Nov 2007 03:10:09 +0000
Let me tell you little story, how I ended up in jail
Just a freaky little story, how I ended up in jail
This stories always about a woman
and makin life a living hell could be something to the efftct of:

Let me tell you little story, how I ended up in jail
Just a freaky little story, how I ended up in jail
You gotta know there's a woman at the center
of this sordid little tale]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270296 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270287 Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:16:58 +0000
Not what I would have expected from you but I like it.

Like David said it could use a little tweaking a his suggestion
is good.

I think the last line of the first verse is a little rough and
overuses the word "story" somewhat.

Maybe something like:

Ain't it always about a woman
making life a living hell.

Just my thoughts

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270287 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270206 Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:18:19 +0000
and ya.. I tried hard to choose my words carefully. :oops:

Jim]]> Sunday Songwriters Group geoo https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270206 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270205 Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:15:39 +0000
And welcome back - it's good to see you grace these pages again.

This is a very interesting mix - Lola meets the Blues - and a cool twist on the typical "being lonely" and "being in jail 'cause I killed someone" blues song. Nice. First verse is a good set up.

A little tweaking might help some of the rough spots. I thought this might help the third verse:

Well I met up with a sweet thing, and I handed her a drink
She was a slightly odd sweet baby momma, and I handed her a drink
Her big ol hands looked so strange to me
But when you're so lonely you don't think...

And you're on your own for the fourth verse! :wink: I thought you did very well for a family site!

Looking forward to more from you.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-270205 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-28810 Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:36:07 +0000 by Jim Couch

Let me tell you little story, how I ended up in jail
Just a freaky little story, how I ended up in jail
This stories always about a woman
and makin life a living hell

One night I was feeling lonely, needed someone in my bed
Yeah one night I was so lonely, I needed someone in my bed
So I headed out on the town
to a bar named Lonely Fred's

Well I met up with a sweet thing, and I handed her a drink
Yeah I met up a sweet baby momma, and I handed her a drink
But there was something odd about her
Her big ol hands looked so strange to me

I took her back to my trailer, and we hopped on into bed
Yes, we took off all our clothes and hopped on into bed
But I felt something odd touching me
And I beat her-im half-dead

--------------------------------

I think the toughest thing about this was keeping it semi clean :) and only four verses. I am going to play around with what key and changes I wanna use when I get home. I am just pleased that I got something down this week... and pretty early.

Jim]]> Sunday Songwriters Group geoo https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-y6w1-lonely-freds/#post-28810