https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:55:23 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225449 Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:19:24 +0000
A very good piece here - very introspective.

If I didn't know it was about kittens would have sworn it was about orphans. Read with that i mind it becomes very powerful.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225449 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225295 Sun, 28 Jan 2007 00:32:32 +0000
Usually, when I'm reading the songs in here, I try and put a melody to them, get a general feel for the song.....this one's a bit tricky to categorise, although I can see it being done with some soft acoustic guitar and a choir for the chorus...I'd be interested to know what you've got in mind music-wise?

Nice writing, anyway...

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225295 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225145 Sat, 27 Jan 2007 02:51:24 +0000

There's some very good writing in this song. It did take a couple of
reads to get the feel but (as said before) it could be very different
when sung.

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-225145 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224692 Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:11:30 +0000
I won't mention what has already been mentioned as "The read " is always different to the singing...I've been caught too many times ..

Would love to hear it just hear what Chefie mentioned ....


Well Done

Trevor]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224692 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224678 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 22:52:15 +0000
I like what you've done here and I think the 2 lines that chefie alludes are probably a little awkward on the read, of course when they're sung its a different story. I think this is a good song regardless of your doubts.

cheers

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224678 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224675 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 22:47:12 +0000
I put myself in the shoes of someone I don't know and imagined her psyche and motivations. Not sure if that was quite what the assignment was about, but it was a ride.

As one sings vowels instead of consonants, I've found I can get away from perfect rhyme and drop last consonants on one of the lines and have it sound like a good rhyme when sung, even if it looks awkward when written.

I dunno. I'm open to thoughts.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sarah https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224675 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224671 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 22:33:22 +0000
I've read this over a number of times . . . . . then come back to it and read it again. I don't know if it fulfills this weeks assignment, but that aside, it's a really striking piece of work. To me there's lots of really good mind imagery. The one thing that I seem to stumble on each time I read it, though, is one of the rhyming patterns.
The shiny white linoleum
Squeals beneath my feet
I've not doubt that this hospital
Is where I'm meant to be And later you use "feet" again, this time with "me"

Both times it makes me feel that you're trying to rhyme (maybe not) . . . . but it seems like it's forced. If you're not trying to rhyme then maybe you could use words that are less similar . . . . .and if a rhyme is meant . . . . maybe make it work with a word more seamless like "meet"

Too, I think it's common for us not to like our own work. But you have reason to like this one.

Neil]]> Sunday Songwriters Group chefie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-224671 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-23532 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 16:21:57 +0000
To be honest with you, I'm not even sure I like it, but here we go...


He'll Care for the Rest

The grey concrete and cages
Chill me as I roam
Looking at each little face
Hoping for a home

Some I must entrust to God
Only He can save them all
But some He has meant for me
Our eyes meet and I fall

CHORUS:
I've never played my cards
Close enough to my chest
But if I take care of mine
Then He'll care for the rest
Yeah, He'll care for the rest

The shiny white linoleum
Squeals beneath my feet
I've not doubt that this hospital
Is where I'm meant to be

Some I must entrust to God
Only He can save them all
But some He has meant for me
And I come when they call

CHORUS

My worn tan carpet crackles
Underneath my stocking feet
Another failed evening
Another one not for me

Some I must entrust to God
Only He can save them all
But one He has meant for me
(He'll be) the best I ever saw

CHORUS

The best I ever saw
Yeah, the best I ever saw]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sarah https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-year-5-week-12-sarah/#post-23532