https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 09:44:56 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283538 Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:36:03 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283538 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283536 Tue, 04 Mar 2008 16:35:20 +0000
Def. agreed that any chorus would have to be simple and possible one-line or a repeat thereof. Just having some difficulty encapsulating everything I've packed into the verses in one line! But then, if I could do that, I'd have had little reason to write 5 verses...]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283536 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283295 Mon, 03 Mar 2008 01:16:04 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283295 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283294 Mon, 03 Mar 2008 01:13:02 +0000 "foaming floral eyes"
"cotton candy dandelions are parachuting seeds"
and the "modesty.." line
and the willows! subtle. if this were a painting it would be pencil and aquarel :wink:

i stumbled over the "ya" in the fifth verse, for it changed the style(if that is the right term) for me.. but upon re-reading it, i like it more and more.

really, even if you don't add a chorus (and if you do, a one-line-chorus would suffice already, for the verses are so ... rich), i am head over heels. wish my pen would write like that :wink:

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283294 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283026 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:11:52 +0000
I'll forgive you for slacking this time - but if it happens again, you better have an excuse along the lines of, "Well Eric Clapton just gave me this red Gibson ES 335......"

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283026 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283023 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:51:57 +0000
Yeah, I should have said, 5. changes melody, it's similar but the melody is squashed and slitghtly changed to fit half the space of the previous bits. I'm not too happy about the melody there, though, it starts sounding way to, uh, 'poppy' and glossy, but I'll work on it when I work on the chorus. Or I might lose it from the song, but I like the reference to the willows. I dunno. Spot on about me wanting it to be a sort of wistful, end-musing soft thing, though. :D :D

Thanks for the feedback!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283023 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283020 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:32:24 +0000
I like your use of imagery, and I like the way you've used the weather in a kind of off-hand, peripheral manner - it's a scene-setter rather than a scene stealer.

The only thing I'm having trouble with is fitting the last stanza into the same kind of rhythm - the shorter lines kind of threw me a little. Wondering if you're changing things around there? Seems to be a nice laid-back nostalgic feeling about this - perhaps that last stanza would work in a softly-spoken voice. But I'll wait and see if you come up with a chorus before passing further judgement.

Looking forward to the completed version!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-283020 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-30520 Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:15:05 +0000
Tried to have the weather feature prominently while trying to refrain from referring to it direclty (i.e. no hot/cold, no mention of the time of year, wind, rain, etc, wherever possible). The bits referencing choruses will hopefuly get filled in tomorrow.

The Ballad of Linen and Lace

1.
The fields are filled with foaming floral eyes
Feelers reach for deeply azure skies
Where the birds....are making themselves heard

2.
The air it bears the weight of crowds we just had to leave
Yeah, it's a different season, and it's driftin' through the reeds
The cotton candy dandelions are parachuting seeds

(Insert chorus later)

3.
I hoped my modesty could hide behind a dress of lace
But sunlight gushes through so my intentions can be traced
I'm graced by your golden kisses, just below a silent witness

4.
Elderflower veil from the branch of a makeshift crown
Lachrymal scents beg us to bring our bodies down
Ah, bless the alchemy....of sweat and dusty ground


(Again, chorus insert later)

5.
Your linen shirt it billows at ya waist
I wonder whether willows lie in wait
But none will grow today]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg-yr6-week-17-the-ballad-of-linen-and-lace/#post-30520