https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:01:26 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382050 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 17:06:24 +0000
I read in her eyes
Not a big surprise
Tell them I tried to be special, please I like the change. Seems to sit more comfortably

Yes, there are a lot of assumptions not spelled out here. I was thinking along the lines of Mr. B being an unstable jealous character ready to go off at anytime....He flashes his knife at strangers (the waiter in the diner) as a warning he's a dangerous guy.......

.....the waiter is a witness because that was the last public place the girl was seen with Mr. B.........why does the girl stay in an abusive relationship?......I don't have an answer on her reasoning for this song.
That's where I think you have more nerve than me (which is good). I like other people's lyrics that leave room to wonder, but my own stuff tends to spell everything out. I'd like to be a bit more opaque at times than I usually am. :roll:
.........but the one contrast I was thinking which you picked up on was that she seems "spacey" in a trance EXCEPT when he is around......thinking that his presence kicks in her more survival instincts and awareness (i.e. piercing glance).....maybe the danger makes her feel more alive.......... Yes, that makes sense.

............again, a lot of these are assumptions that made sense when I was putting together a back story but don't really come out in the lyrics as they are. Thanks for explaining that's how you see it. As I said, I think leaving some room for different explanations is often good, provided it's not too overdone. I might experiment with mapping out a story in lyric form and then deliberately erasing a few bits to see how it shades things.

Cheers,

Chris]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382050 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382038 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 13:00:20 +0000 The only point where I slightly lost the thread was here: I made a change to clarify..........

I read in her eyes
Not a big surprise
Tell them I tried to be special, please
It did also seem slightly strange that Mr B would choose a public place with witnesses for a pre-planned killing and that the girl would meekly turn up to be stabbed to death (if that is indeed what's going on...). But hey - it's song - you're allowed (expected even) to do weird things! :wink: I'd say you're even allowed to rhyme "trance" with "piercing glance" even though they're pretty much opposite states - because if it work it works, regardless of how it might seem to a nit-picker... Yes, there are a lot of assumptions not spelled out here. I was thinking along the lines of Mr. B being an unstable jealous character ready to go off at anytime....He flashes his knife at strangers (the waiter in the diner) as a warning he's a dangerous guy.......

.....the waiter is a witness because that was the last public place the girl was seen with Mr. B.........why does the girl stay in an abusive relationship?......I don't have an answer on her reasoning for this song.

.........but the one contrast I was thinking which you picked up on was that she seems "spacey" in a trance EXCEPT when he is around......thinking that his presence kicks in her more survival instincts and awareness (i.e. piercing glance).....maybe the danger makes her feel more alive..........

...........maybe she knows she is going to tell him news that will upset him and she doesn't know if he will kill her after she tells him.....so for her, delivering the news might be a death sentence for her.

............again, a lot of these are assumptions that made sense when I was putting together a back story but don't really come out in the lyrics as they are.

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382038 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382035 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 03:26:02 +0000
The only point where I slightly lost the thread was here:

She wanted to be
If she could she would
Tell them I tried to be special, please

Up to that point Mr Banjo Eyes was speaking, so this section sounded to me as if his voice is continuing - describing the girl as a wannabe. But the third line sounds like it would probably be delivered by the girl. Was that the idea, or is Mr B wanting us to think that he was special?

It probably doesn't matter, as a casual listener probably expects to get a general atmosphere rather than having every explanation squeezed in.

It did also seem slightly strange that Mr B would choose a public place with witnesses for a pre-planned killing and that the girl would meekly turn up to be stabbed to death (if that is indeed what's going on...). But hey - it's song - you're allowed (expected even) to do weird things! :wink: I'd say you're even allowed to rhyme "trance" with "piercing glance" even though they're pretty much opposite states - because if it work it works, regardless of how it might seem to a nit-picker...


I thought that the ending , musically and lyrically, was great! So I'm off to listen to again now - just for enjoyment this time...

Cheers,

Chris]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382035 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382033 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 02:16:59 +0000
.....and yes, this is EZKeys software on the piano :D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382033 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382031 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:16:02 +0000
Once I read this, I was hoping the recording would have a banjo in it. I liked the keyboard work. Was this you playing or one of your auto-piano programs?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-382031 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-44140 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:59:23 +0000
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12261981

==================Revised Version=====================

I raised my right hand
Took the witness stand
Gave account of what I saw that night

The diner was slow
I’d just rolled some dough
She was starring at the clock dim-eyed

She asked right at 10
Could I recommend
One last meal to eat before she died

She spoke in a trance
Shot a piercing glance
Mr. Banjo Eyes arrived as I spoke

Chorus
I’d order the Special
I’d order the Special
With a juicy slice of life
And a side of warm memories
I’d order the Special if it was me

He sat in her booth
Had a shiny tooth
Easily jealous agitated type

He asked what I said
Cleared my throat and read
Read the Special while he flashed his knife

chorus

A Special for me
Diet Coke for her
She has never been the Special type

I read in her eyes
Not a big surprise
Tell them I tried to be special, please

chorus

Now he’s on death row
Paying debts he owes
Mr. Banjo Eyes received his last meal

He laughed at the joke
A note and Diet Coke
Hope you choke on your last special meal


==================Original Version=====================
I raised my right hand
Took the witness stand
Gave account of what I saw that night

The diner was slow
I’d just rolled some dough
She was starring at the clock dim-eyed

She asked right at 10
Could I recommend
One last meal to eat before she died

She spoke in a trance
Shot a piercing glance
Mr. Banjo Eyes arrived as I spoke

Chorus
I’d order the Special
I’d order the Special
With a juicy slice of life
And a side of warm memories
I’d order the Special if it was me

He sat in her booth
Had a shiny tooth
Easily jealous agitated type

He asked what I said
Cleared my throat and read
Read the Special while he flashed his knife

chorus

A Special for me
Diet Coke for her
She has never been the Special type

She wanted to be
If she could she would
Tell them I tried to be special, please

chorus

Now he’s on death row
Paying debts he owes
Mr. Banjo Eyes received his last meal

He laughed at the joke
A note and Diet Coke
Hope you choke on your last special meal]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg11-week23-the-special/#post-44140