https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:48:40 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55769 Fri, 14 Nov 2003 05:43:35 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55769 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55768 Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:38:39 +0000
and the redneck took to liking her really, really good


Excellent line - just oozes menace.

Echo Alan's comments on the line length in places.

Excellent stuff

Are you going to record and post it, cos it would be great to hear it.

Good Stuff

Bob  ;)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55768 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55767 Thu, 13 Nov 2003 18:18:51 +0000 Beauty and the Beast!  ;)

What sort of music do you have in mind for this? Knowing that would help get a better handle on how the lines will read.

You're off to an impressive start, sir!

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55767 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55766 Wed, 12 Nov 2003 21:48:43 +0000
Some of the line lengths are struggling but there's certainly some potential there.


A :-)
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55766 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55765 Wed, 12 Nov 2003 20:12:48 +0000 Well done. Olav]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Olav https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-55765 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-1489 Wed, 12 Nov 2003 01:02:01 +0000
May-bee and the redneck

May-bee's father, drunk on spiced rum,
staggered home, the dirty little bum
lost his way, oh what the heck
found himself in the yard of the crazy redneck

standing there, swaying all around
he saw the marijuana stacked up by the pound
eyes wide and with a mischievous grin
he took one for himself and one for his kin

turning to leave, but not a moment too soon
there was the redneck holding his rifle and a new spit-toon
"you can only take my dope", the redneck had said
"if you send one of your daughters to stay with me instead"

the old man made it home and sent May-bee away
to the crazy redneck's new double wide trailer to stay
May-bee cooked and cleaned and did all she could
and the redneck took to liking her really, really good

one night after she made him her famous apple pie
he asked her to marry him, else he would certainly die
"not as a wife I will stay, but as a friend" she said
"but please let me return home so I can get my bed"

"for a day you may leave, but for no longer," he said
so she hurried back home but fell asleep instead
the next day she rushed back to find him passed out cold
so she promised to marry him, though she was 14 years old

after that day he changed from a crazy redneck to a dad
when May-bee gave birth to their firstborn named chad
and they lived happily ever after in this messed up scene
while she became known as his double wide trailer queen]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-2-metalhead/#post-1489