https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 18:41:59 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63987 Tue, 27 Jul 2004 08:45:40 +0000
i wanted to comment about alan's little verse about the british diner. i personally really like it. it is a bit light and commical but i works for me. i would love to see the rest of that song. who cares of there is a lisa and/or darren working there. you are just a song writer not a journalist. you can make up what ever you want.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63987 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63986 Tue, 27 Jul 2004 08:39:28 +0000
great song with wonderful imagery. i like the fact that there is no chorus, just the repeat of the last two lines of each verse.

unlike scratch i do have something to critique about this song. the one thing that kinda bothers me about it is that it just ends. there is no closure or a wrap up something to bring the characters together in some way. just a suggestion.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63986 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63485 Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:39:15 +0000
-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63485 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63466 Sun, 18 Jul 2004 15:36:01 +0000
I could have set the scene in Fatboy's Diner in London, but it closes about 30 minutes after the last workaholic goes home, so at 10 p.m. there's nothing left to write - they don't have a late shift for Mary to work, and you sure wouldn't find many like Joe working himself so hard all hours of the day to make a living that he doesn't have time for a life.

Writing it in Basildon wouldn't have helped much - "Mehmet's in the kitchen" doesn't work half as well, and most of the table staff are spotty oiks with no personality. The thought of the Darren and Lisa brigade working, let alone working their passage, is almost laughable. Can you imagine:

Lisa and Darren
got a 320i.
Can't pay insurance
or tax it to drive.
Bacardi and lager
their staple diet.
Collapse in the corner,
watch the world go
by (eat at "Poppins")

Poppins Restaurant is the "chips with everything" cafe by the doors at Eastgate, Basildon's shopping centre, and I've no idea if they've got a Lisa or a Darren working there.


A :-)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63466 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63331 Thu, 15 Jul 2004 22:14:12 +0000
Tiny criticism, why did you have to set it in an American diner........we do have restaurants in England.....Bob's done the same thing.......

OK, a song about the M5 doesn't have the same romanticism about it as say, Route 66.......but one of the first things I ever learned about songwriting was "Write about what you know"......and if you ain't been there and ain't done that, don't bother....I'm not criticising the songs, they're beautifully written and observed .....

Just saying, set them in your home town.......makes it far more realistic.....I can get a far better feeling for a song by making it personal....about someone or somewhere I know well......

that's England ......if you've been to America and been in American diners then please feel free to ignore me.......otherwise, why write a song about the other side of the world when there is so much to observe on our own doorsteps?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63331 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63327 Thu, 15 Jul 2004 20:32:18 +0000 too young to die. But I think you did a great job of describing the characters.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group arden https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63327 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63294 Thu, 15 Jul 2004 03:18:22 +0000
-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-63294 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-2798 Thu, 15 Jul 2004 03:09:04 +0000
Title: Eat at Joe's

Ham and eggs
and give me coffee.
I'll rest my legs
in the corner there.
Me and my lady
rest her soul,
always sat here.
Watch the world go
by (eat at Joe's)

Harry the waiter
came on the boat.
Worked his ticket,
never went home.
His tips are good
He's warm and dry.
Gets cheap food.
Watch the world go
by (eat at Joe's)

Mary works late shift
into the night.
Saving for Condo,
lower east side.
Tired and stressy,
ready to cry.
Hair tied back messy,
watch the world go
by (eat at Joe's)

Cold Sunday morning.
Chill in the air.
Joe's in the kitchen.
Lifeless stare.
Too old for the fast track,
too young to die.
Should have just sat back.
Watch the world go
by (eat at Joe's)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-37-alan-green/#post-2798