https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 18:42:18 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55944 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 21:29:35 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55944 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55943 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 18:34:40 +0000 Bob: Will you hear it? maybe in a couple of years after i learn how to play my guitar! or if you have time and want to think of music for it, go right ahead and send it to me!

May take you up on that if I get some time after Christmas - I was thinking of an 'All About Eve' style - although I'd have to break out the records and listen again.

What was in your head for it?

Bob  ;)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55943 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55942 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:27:10 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group MJBird https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55942 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55941 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 03:58:40 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55941 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55940 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 01:30:21 +0000
"False exteriors, theatric interiors"

Seems to flow better for me.

The second stanza is clever.  I like the ominous, yet subtle feel to it.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55940 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55939 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 01:14:47 +0000  
They know who I am
Blue eyes shine behind a shade of sadness
Black hair, skin fair
Closing out of lost world madness
 
They know where I've been
Gothic lands with black sea ports
Holy wells, esoteric cells
Whispering poems at archaic stone forts
 
Ask someone who loves me
They're out there, they do exist
Ask someone who loves me
They'll say I've become the amethyst
 
They know where I'm going
Purple landscapes of summer darkness
False exteriors, theatric interiors
Dancing wild in long black dress  
 
Ask someone who loves me  
They're out there, they do exist  
Ask someone who loves me  
They'll say I've become the amethyst]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55939 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55938 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 08:13:06 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55938 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55937 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 06:08:18 +0000
Really good imagery, well written.

The third line of the first verse doesn't fit the format of the other two.

other than that...

They'll say I'm influenced by amethyst

How about:

They'll say I am the amethyst

or

They'll say I've become the amethyst

Influenced seems a bit convoluted.

How about "False exteriors"  like the facades on a hollywood lot?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Nick Torres https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55937 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55936 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 04:59:02 +0000
apefeet: i think you're right. i have to do the walking test.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55936 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55935 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 01:35:04 +0000 Whispering poems at archaic stone forts


Excellent stuff, very ethereal and a feel of new age philosophy.  Lots of imagery and that's a great line I've quoted.

I really like it, will we hear it?

Good stuff

Bob ;)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-4-new-writer/#post-55935