https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 15:31:03 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67775 Fri, 03 Sep 2004 00:44:35 +0000
I think all the pertinent points have been made - good take on the assignment and a cracking song as well.

Great Stuff :)

Bob]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67775 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67739 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 20:21:50 +0000
Like the song! Seems Like most of what needs to be said already has so I'll just say: Love verse #4 :

"They say a pot of gold is waiting
at the rainbow's end,
it'd be worth less than trinkets,
without you for a friend. "

Thought it started out a little cliche but you managed to pull it off. Besides
it is a love song.

Title suggestion: Beacon in The Night or My Beacon


Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67739 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67684 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 15:37:47 +0000
Took my line, eh! Remind me to never introduce you to my wife, then again...... LOL :D . Glad I could help.

Narn]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Narn https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67684 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67665 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 11:00:26 +0000 sorry i get in these moods sometimes, maybe it is the lack of sleep doing it. all in good fun though.

*tries to think of a title......* hhhmmmm..............i am not really good at comming up with titles, but you can always just pull from the song. how about "captive in your eyes" romantic enough for this sweet song?

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67665 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67664 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 10:51:40 +0000
ok i have had time to reread your song and really think about it.
I couldn't get anything this week (so far), :shock: i can't believe my eyes here. you couldn't get anything, so you managed to write a whole beautiful song. makes me sick. :D

the whole first verse wonderful, have i said i am a hopeless romantic before? so natually these lines speak to me. you manage to keep something very cliche from sounding that way. My Southern Crossnice refernce here. without you I'd tremble,
at the destiny I'd find.these two lines just don't quite sound right to me. i get what you are trying to allude to, but it sounds a bit off. it'd be worth less than trinketsthis line is a bit hard here too. since you have two seperate words that make another when combined. the problem is, is that if you hear/read worth and less as one word then the grammar is wrong and sounds funny. maybe it works with the music you have, the way you sing it makes all the difference.

since it is an obvious love song, the light airy quality and short lines work out well.

*CheapThrill puts another tick mark under the good colum for scratch*
:D

*wonders what kind of song scratch would have come up with if he had time to think about*

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67664 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67638 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 05:57:02 +0000
yet again like always, i love this song. i so need to reread it a few more times. i just wanted to say that i like it. really sweet, even in a rush you still manage to capture so much emotion in a nice little diddy.

well write more when i have time to sit and really think about the song.

your biggest fan. :D
-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67638 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67618 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 03:37:13 +0000
That was such a good suggestion for the next to last line in the chorus, that I stole it outright. Thanks!

And you're right that the 3rd verse needs some help as well. I'll keep working on it.

-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67618 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67616 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 03:16:55 +0000
Nice song, I'm a sucker for a simply love song.
but I think Narn is right on the mark about the chorus.

Just my opinion( well actually it's Narns)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Tokai 12 String https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67616 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67590 Thu, 02 Sep 2004 01:07:22 +0000
This isn't bad at all. Sweet and simple. I like narn's suggestions for the lines in the chorus and verse 3. It is a little sappy- but, then again, so are most love songs. I wouldn't worry about it.

:) Portia]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Portia https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67590 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67545 Wed, 01 Sep 2004 21:12:32 +0000
I kept readiing worthless as one word..... would be a pain to sing and hear it as two words !!!!
Other than that nice and simple ( not too long :wink: ).... I like it. somtimes the best ones come when you don't try to hard to think


Go well
Ja'mir :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week-43-untitled/#post-67545