https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 06:08:47 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55927 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 11:33:25 +0000 open mind in the rhythm department.  I had to read
it a few times to pick up the meaning, but that has
more to do with my cognitive abilities than your writing.

Nice work.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group MJBird https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55927 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55926 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 08:25:20 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55926 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55925 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 02:12:34 +0000
It's Once upon a time.  I broke it up for syllables.

I was saying it was all fairy tales until now.

I'll have to think about it.


Thanks for all the comments.  I get back to it after turkey.

]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Nick Torres https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55925 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55924 Fri, 28 Nov 2003 00:28:58 +0000
The only part that I'm having dificulty with is the first two lines of the bridge:
Bridge:
Up til now it was
up on a time What idea are you trying to convey?  Maybe

Up 'till now we were
up on the times

I know - that was weak - but I'm just strugling with the point.  The chorus definetly carries this one for me, and I almost love it!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55924 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55923 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 23:13:15 +0000
I was waiting for it to be completed before commenting. I do agree that it has to be read a couple of times , so as not to stumble over the you's, me's and it's. But depending on the melody in your head, this probably works fine when sung, just hard for reading.

The other thing is the first part of the bridge
Up til now it was
up on a time
and when we cross
I'll be drawing the line

I find the different tenses confusing. But in truth I can't come up with a change that is better !!!!

Go well
Jamir ;)



]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55923 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55922 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 18:44:39 +0000
You can relax now you're off report.

It's a really good piece of songwriting and it works very well but I did have to read it through a couple of times.

The main sticking points I had were in the chorus and the bridge.  It may just be me and the way I read things but I'd swap the chorus around from

Ask someone who loves me
why I do the ugly things I do
it used to be you
it used to be you
Ask someone who loves you
why we can't be like we used to be
it used to be me
it used to be me

to

Ask someone who loves me
it used to be you
it used to be you  
why I do the ugly things I do
Ask someone who loves you
it used to be me
it used to be me
why we can't be like we used to be

I suppose it depends on the vocal arrangement but I'd also have the it used to be me(you) lines in alternating stereo, sung differently or emphasised differently in some way.  But we may be getting ahead of ourselves here.

The bridge seems disjointed to me I can't think of alternative suggestions (as I'm supposed to be working) but take a day and have another look.

Are we going to hear this one

Bob  :)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55922 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55921 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 05:54:15 +0000 ;D
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Nick Torres https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55921 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55920 Thu, 27 Nov 2003 02:02:46 +0000
Good start - I like and envy the simplicity - please finish it or you're on report!!  ;)

Bob

]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-55920 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-1521 Wed, 26 Nov 2003 00:20:42 +0000

Used to be me

They know who I am
But I don't think you do
I know,
I know
I know you never knew

You think you know me
I think some things you missed
I can tell
I can tell
I can tell, no one told you this

Chorus:
Ask someone who loves me
why I do the ugly things I do
it used to be you
it used to be you
Ask someone who loves you
why we can't be like we used to be
it used to be me
it used to be me

Something about me
Sometimes it's just you
You see
You see
You see I saw it too.

Bridge:
Up til now it was
once upon a time
now when we cross
I'll be crossing the line
and trying hard to picture what we had once in my mind
but it's like I'm blind
there's nothing left to find

Chorus:

Ask someone who loves me
why I do the ugly things I do
it used to be you
it used to be you
Ask someone who loves you
why we can't be like we used to be
it used to be me
it used to be me
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Nick Torres https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week4-nick/#post-1521