https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:01:08 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72265 Sun, 10 Oct 2004 19:28:02 +0000
Because I really dont think this is any good at all.

The bonfire started twice.
They remembered they had not forgotten

And the chorus is abysmal.

If were going to critique other people at least lets be honest.
Its the only way were ever going to improve.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Spadge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72265 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72192 Sun, 10 Oct 2004 01:19:09 +0000
Think pretty much everything's been covered already, only quibble I have is with the end of the second verse......

Good friends remembering good times
Memories of not forgotten times.

Just struck me as a little clumsy, rhyming times with times, and the last line, memories of not forgotten times......obviously they're not forgotten, you've got memories.......

You could try something like....

Good friends calling to mind,
Memories of those long-gone times........

or something similar, that's just a suggestion off the top of my head....

Apart from that, works just fine.....I get a warm rosy feeling thinking back to the bonfires I enjoyed as a kid, they're almost as much fun when you're an adult with kids of your own, watching their little faces.....this evokes memories of all those times....I can almost smell the woodsmoke and the fireworks, so, yeah, it works for me!!!

:D :D :D

Vic.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72192 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72098 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 20:08:51 +0000
nice song. caught my attention from the title, but that might just be because i am an aggie and bonfire is a big thing to us.

nice little thinking back to better times song. it is great how simply you were able to get this across. The tequila was empty shots all in a rowthis line is my fav imagery.

i didn't notice the rhyme change in the third verse. but what i did notice is the use of show and flowed when you ended lines in the first verse with show and flow, seems a little close toghether. but depending on the music that might not apply. it might just be the case when reading it.

nice song, good flow and imagery.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72098 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72087 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 19:02:06 +0000
Nice take on the assignment. A couple of weeks ago we were suppose to write about a different time and started thinking about all the campfires I've had in my life. I eventually took a different path. This is a much better take on that subject than anything I came Up with. Bob and Sozay make some good points. I did find the third verse a little jarring just a little out of the flow. But all and all Very Good.

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72087 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72029 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 05:52:00 +0000 another good song, with a good chorus. I argree with bob that you should try to get all the verse to match rhyme wise. however if you want to leave it the way it is, it would be best served as a bridge, the slight change in music would excuse/allow a change in structure. the other thing, (very nitpicky, sorry) is verse 1 & 2 have "the bonfire started" if you had something like the bonfire grew/roared/danced/watched, that way you will end up with a nice logical progression, time passing
"v1-->the bonfire started-->v2--->the bonfire grew (or something)--->v3--->the bonfire was embers"
hope this helps

sozay]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sozay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72029 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72006 Fri, 08 Oct 2004 00:45:00 +0000
Good take on the assignment, played within the rules very well and still managed to tell a good story. Only problem I have is with the change in rhyme scheme from verses 1 and 2 to verse 3. Even in such a short song you get acustomed tohow it's been written and your brain is expecting to hear moreof the same. That sudden hange puts the song off meter to me. I'd work a little bit on the 3rd verse to get that into the same structure as the other two verses.

Otherwise good stuff

Bob :D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-72006 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-4224 Thu, 07 Oct 2004 14:48:21 +0000
Bonfire
Verse 1
The bonfire started with a little glow
More friends showed up and it started to flow
The flames got higher and it started to grow
The people got higher and it started to show

Verse 2
The bonfire started when people started to show
It really got going when the liquor flowed
Good friends remembering good times
Memories of not forgotten times.

Chorus
Music from the guitar Shots from the bar
We've been here before Why can't this go on

Verse 3
The bonfire was embers the moon was full
The tequila was empty shots all in a row
More memories of friends reflections again
Why can't this go on why does this have to end

Chorus
Music from the guitar Shots from the bar
We've been here before Why can't this go on]]> Sunday Songwriters Group tricountytrail https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg2-week48-bonfire/#post-4224