https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 21:14:57 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-104335 Sat, 28 May 2005 06:24:47 +0000
thanks for choosing one of my titles.

Absolute Zero -- pbee
I like what youve done here, I can see some sort of "epiphany" comming out of this song. I thought that and hope that he can raise them sounded better to me as
"In the hope he can raise them" just a thought.

All I can't say -- AerynK.McAvan
In main I like this. But this line forever and a day is a bit clichéd for me. The rest of its good.

When tommorow's only yesterday -- the Celt
This is nice and simple. If it was me I might be inclined to to change line 2
and loose the "to you" at the end. Either way its works, good work :D .]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-104335 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103984 Thu, 26 May 2005 02:45:17 +0000
Not only do I think you did justice but you brought it someplace
different than I was thinking. Good Job !

Absolute Zero is Cool ( bad pun) :oops:

I like it and it's open enough to leave
alot of room to play with for verses

As gjbrake wroteAll I can't say starts off so nicely and then ends so sadly. That's what I like best about it.

Hope your life starts getting settled soon.

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103984 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103922 Wed, 25 May 2005 18:35:08 +0000
I'd say it's more perceptive than pedantic. Probably because I agree with you. I should come up with something better for that line. Although, I daresay if anyone uses that chorus next week, they'll have their own tweaks and adjustments.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103922 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103915 Wed, 25 May 2005 18:20:42 +0000
As for the others:

for me, Absolute Zero could be brilliant, depending on the verses that come with it. That is likely to be out of your hands! But I think it definitely has potential.


All I can't say starts off so nicely and then ends so sadly. Gonna have to be some well written music to do it justice! Lyrically I think you've used the title well though - good stuff there. If I wanted to be really pedantic I might say that the second to last line is a little redundant - or at least I think you could pack in more there quite easily.
But only if I wanted to be really pedantic...]]> Sunday Songwriters Group gjbrake https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-103915 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-9315 Wed, 25 May 2005 17:56:45 +0000
Celt, I don't think I did justice to your title, but I really liked it and wanted to have a go at it. I'll have to try to build on it when I can concentrate a little better. The others I'm pretty OK with, but I'm just out of practice, and you have to start somewhere, eh?



Absolute Zero -- pbee
----------------------
There's no movement at all
not even a shiver
when the mercury falls,
and quarks no longer quiver
Then the particles all pray
for a particular hero,
and hope that he can raise them
from absolute zero.

All I can't say -- AerynK.McAvan
--------------------------------
Your laughter lightens up my soul
your smile can drive away the cold
I'm probably going to love you
forever and a day
You made yourself another life,
and now your someone else's wife,
and how I feel about you,
is all that I can't say.

When tommorow's only yesterday -- the Celt
----------------------------------------
I had something to look forward to
Whenever I came home to you.
But ever since you went away,
Tomorrow's only yesterday.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg3-wk-29/#post-9315