https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 13:55:09 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154312 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:28:55 +0000 I like your edit of the last half of the 1st verse, that works for me.
I had ago at the chorus as well before I read the other comments, so heres my take for what its worth:
Sometimes your up
Sometimes your down
The balance rarely even
You stake it high
You stake it low
The dealer keeps on dealing I also had a go at the last 4 lines coz for me they just seemed to fall a little flat.
So cut the deck for high or low
And see your fortune change
Draw your card and seal your fate
Welcome to the game In line 3 you could also use deal your fate
Any great song


Cheers
pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154312 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154147 Tue, 24 Jan 2006 14:40:15 +0000
Sometimes you hold a winning hand
A royal and running flush
You're feeling like you're 10 feet tall
Oh man it's such a rush

Chorus is something like

Rake in the pot
Or lose your shirt
The balance's rarely even
Cash in your chips
Or place your stake
The dealer keeps on dealing

With the chorus I wanted to keep that chance of winning/losing and choice of staying/going but keep the idea no matter what you do things carry on.

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154147 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154136 Tue, 24 Jan 2006 12:21:08 +0000 first verse: first half ok, second half less good. last rhyme sounds very forced It was forced just to put something there so I could move on


David your chorus is better than mine so I'm going to adopt and adapt it - thanks

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154136 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154083 Tue, 24 Jan 2006 04:35:15 +0000
You might want to try making the choruses a little more specific since the verses are fairly general. Perhaps:

Rake in the pot
Or lose your shirt
The balance's rarely even
Place your stake
Raise the bet
The dealer keeps on dealing

I'm very interested to see how this turns out. As you say, it's a good start (although I'd say "great start!").

Good to see you here again, sir! And may we be fortunate to read more from you.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154083 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154079 Tue, 24 Jan 2006 04:19:23 +0000

first verse: first half ok, second half less good. last rhyme sounds very forced.

chorus: "come out up / come out down" - I see what you're saying but a bit too cryptic to be catchy. the next line sounds also very difficult to sing - I would scrap if it possible. maybe go for something with odd/even to keep that rhyme. second half is ok and last line very strong.

second verse: very good, best part of the song. especially the last 2 lines.

coda: no problems.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-154079 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-14882 Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:27:54 +0000
The last four lines are a kind of variation on the chorus just to end it.

Working Title - Chance

Sometimes you hold a losing hand
It's hard to make that pay
You've got to know just when to fold
To turn and walk away
Sometimes you hold a winning hand
Full house in Kings and Aces
You're feeling like you're 10 feet tall
One of life's rare graces

Come out up
Come out down
The balance's rarely even
Higher or lower
Place your stake
The dealer keeps on dealing

One hand is barely over
Before the next one's dealt
Hardly time to count your chips
As you gamble through your wealth
The table calls you can't refuse
It's just that kind of game
You play the hand you're dealt with
From obscurity to fame

Come out up
Come out down
The balance's rarely even
Higher or lower
Place your stake
The dealer keeps on dealing

Cut the deck for high or low
And see your fortunes change
It's the luck of the draw
In all of life's games


Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-bob/#post-14882