https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:43:59 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-155344 Sun, 29 Jan 2006 21:46:31 +0000 Your options you discard This is the point where he commits himself to the game at the expense of all else. It doesn't completely convey that message I agree.

Cheers
pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-155344 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-155102 Sat, 28 Jan 2006 17:01:46 +0000
The only thing that seems a little rough is the second line of the fourth verse:
Your options you discard I get what you're saying but it seems a little awkwardly phrased compared to the natural flow of the rest of the song. No suggestions for it as of yet, but I'll think about it awhile.

As always, looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-155102 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154887 Fri, 27 Jan 2006 21:32:22 +0000
I really liked this song. I read it as though the player was not playing for his money, but more for his life. It's like you twisted the friendly game of cards into a game of russian roulette. Very nice. Since this translated like that to me, I would keep the "pay your dues" instead of the "ante up" and I liked PORR's turn of "dealer" into "fate". If this is what you were going for, I think it would make better imagery.

Again, great song.
Keep it up!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pierson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154887 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154877 Fri, 27 Jan 2006 20:42:05 +0000
Not sure if you were looking for ideas on the "Dealer deals" bit, but if you wanted you could substite "dealer" with something like "fate" and get the same idea across. Just a thought.

Nice job with this.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group P0RR https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154877 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154529 Thu, 26 Jan 2006 09:48:55 +0000 Forfeit without regret
You sit right down and stump it up
Fifty two will have you yet "
You Know your way around a deck of them cards :P --the dog]]> Sunday Songwriters Group smokindog https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154529 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154496 Thu, 26 Jan 2006 06:23:59 +0000
thanks for that. I like the "ante" bit, not sure on the "Dealer deals" bit.

cheers

pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154496 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154485 Thu, 26 Jan 2006 05:18:55 +0000
Nice one.

On the last line of verse 2 it would be nice
if you could change either "dealer" or "deals"
just because they are next to each other.

But I may just be nitpicking.

So along that same line:
Pay your dues and takes your chance How about , Ante up and take your chance.

Just a thought

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-154485 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-14939 Thu, 26 Jan 2006 04:10:08 +0000 Snap
© 2005 Paul Brady


V1
Innocence and Ignorance
Forfeit without regret
You sit right down and stump it up
Fifty two will have you yet

V2
You watch the cards you watch them drop
The faces card and man
This is where the game is played
The dealer deals your hand

Chorus
Welcome to the ring my friend
Welcome to this dance
Come sweep the floor see how it suites
Pays your money takes your chance

V3
The game is all consuming
And takes you at the turn
You sell your soul with every bet
The price you've yet to learn

V4
There's more at risk than table stakes
Your options you discard
A shuffle here a showdown there
The diamond takes the heart

Chorus
Welcome to the ring my friend
Welcome to this dance
Come sweep the floor see how it suites
Pays your money takes your chance]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg4-week-12-snap/#post-14939