https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:28:36 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278731 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 08:06:52 +0000
Maybe it's because you wrote about playing something jazzy, but that made me read it without all that much regard to the number of lines. It's easy enough to stretch things out with melody, or just a bit of extra phrasing, so that

I've started to walk in my sleep
Trying to make the right move
Back down your street

Yeah I sketch out a vague dream
Where I say "Love is jade"
And you know what I mean


Becomes

You know I've started
To walk in my sleep
Trying to make the right move
Back down your street

Yeah and sometimes
I sketch out a vague dream
Where I say "Love is jade"
And you know what I mean

(by the bye, totally agree with Vic about those last two lines! So much that one could read into that).

Hope that we'll get the chance to hear the music. It's been too long since I've heard a good augmented chord in something written in this century. Maybe that should be an upcoming assignment, "...write a song on any topic you like, just make sure it has at least one augmented chord in it!" :wink:

Looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278731 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278594 Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:29:15 +0000
Oh, and its surprisingly unbluesy (although I do throw in a bluesy B7 chord at one point, so if that counts....). Sorta sounds more like a whiny indie band sorta song. :roll:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278594 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278497 Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:59:20 +0000 lyrically I like what you have done here. I think your four line stanzas work well, but like Vic Im having trouble with the 2 & 3 liners trying to get a sense of rhythm, I guess all will be revealed if you get a chance to put it to music. Nice song,

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278497 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278404 Tue, 22 Jan 2008 02:37:23 +0000
Only criticism I have of this piece, it's kind of hard to pin a sense of rhythm down - four lines, three lines, three lines again, two lines, four lines and four again....and you don't say whether it's slow or uptempo or whatever....

I'd guess slow and bluesy, four lines for the intro, verse, verse, bridge (possibly spoken?) and a couple of choruses building up to a big finish....but I may be completely wrong!

Can't find anything wrong lyrically - I like ambiguous lines like,

"Yeah I sketch out a vague dream
Where I say "Love is jade"
And you know what I mean"

where you can read your own meaning into the song.....

All in all, I'd say you'd got the makings of a pretty good song here! Might need a little tweaking, a little fine tuning, but no major surgery....

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-278404 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-29899 Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:08:54 +0000
I'm just glad I got something to post this week - I've been asked to do some 'jazz stuff' for a mate who makes films, so I'm panicking over that right now and finding the time for 'exercises' is difficult (but worth it).

Edit: its definitely a slow song........and damn near everything I play ends up sounding bluesy, so I guess that, too. cheers Vic. :)


Counting The Stars

I keep on counting the stars
But never seem to get all that far
Before numbers fail
To hold each one apart...

I've started to walk in my sleep
Trying to make the right move
Back down your street

Yeah I sketch out a vague dream
Where I say "Love is jade"
And you know what I mean

But with each line that I trace
Another one disappears....from place

So I go back to counting the stars
Still I never seem to get all that far
Before numbers fail
To hold each one apart

Yeah I just keep on counting them stars
Trying to pin each one down from afar
You're out of my reach
But you're still in my heart

:|]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssg6-week12-counting-the-stars/#post-29899