https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:58:43 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329332 Fri, 22 May 2009 06:54:01 +0000
I had originally had in there things about bills, and stress, and how the pregnancy was/could have been a bad thing, but I couldn't really figure out how to write it without the song being too wordy. I'll try and re-work some things with it and see where it goes.

Maybe instead of looking at her and there being do doubt about love, they are still going back to the fighting, but the son wakes up and everything stops and are reminded that there's more important things than petty fighting.

As a side bar, with the exception of the 10 years later, golden years, this is pretty much me and my wife with the ages being reversed, so this is a very personal song for me as far as writing and experience.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group JoeHempel https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329332 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329233 Thu, 21 May 2009 17:01:48 +0000
Good start :D Martin 6 made some good points.

Looks like a good place to work on some rewrites from.

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329233 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329210 Thu, 21 May 2009 12:05:37 +0000 from listening to the first 2 verses of the mp3 I think you proved that it's possible to sing verses where none of the words rhyme. It worked perfectly well and I commend you for that.

My only thoughts are that the fighting aspect is glossed over too quickly in the pre-chorus. You have your 2 verses of happy happy cliches, then 1 (maybe 1.5) lines about the fighting, then we're back to happy happyness with the pregnancy and baby's arrival. So when you started singing "Re-Kindled that flame between the two / Was like they never fought at all" I was confused because the brief earlier line about fighting hadn't even registered in my head.

The second half of the songs seems ok. But I think you should flesh out the story a bit in the first half, so listeners can identify clearly with the good times and the bad times, before the chorus kicks in. Maybe also try to track down some other songs about lovers starting a family, to see how other songwriters have balanced the details of the story (I don't know if you approve of that as a songwriting technique, but it's something I've found useful in the past, and it does improve your songs, as long as you don't cross the line between inspiration and plagiarism).]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-329210 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-36033 Wed, 20 May 2009 22:45:30 +0000
This is a bit late, it was last weeks assignment, and it's still a work in progress, the mp3 is definitely a work in progress.

http://www.box.net/shared/khv56q4k60

The chords don't seem to be lining up either with being coded, or un-coded, so I'll just leave it coded because it's closer, but the chord should be over the last word in the line when it's off way to the right.
He Came G He was a lonely boy of 21 Am She was a lonely girl just 18 F C Against all odds they found each others love Then one night out came a ring With tears in her eyes she agreed They put aside their fear for a brand new start Em Then the new wears off and the honeymoon's through D2 And fighting's all they seem to do C7 G(barred) Then she came to him with a strip that's blue Then he came E A 5 pound baby boy D Bringing them laughter and joy G -- walk down to A And the fights just seemed so small Then he came E Bringing love they never knew D Re-Kindled that flame between the two G -- walk down to A Was like they never fought at all Cause he came Then one night sitting on the couch He turned to her and there was no doubt He felt the love that was there from years before The very next night out came a ring Ten years before he did the same thing He never thought they would ever last this long G And the tears they cry are tears of joy D As they watch their growing little boy Em C In too few years he will become a man G Because of him they have no fears D They'll spend all their golden years Em C Hand in hand with the new love they've found Cause he came]]> Sunday Songwriters Group JoeHempel https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/ssgy7w28-he-came/#post-36033