https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:00:38 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-123343 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 15:59:09 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-123343 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-123317 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 09:42:11 +0000
As to how to make it better, I'd suggest trying to take your idea and make it "your own" as far as the language goes.

At the moment it's full of words and phrases that have become somewhat over-used in songs, or are strongly associated with something else.

Examples: roads and highways, candles and wind, darkness (seems to crop up in a lot of early songs) pain (just about every other first song, including mine this week), tears, and so on.

Nothing wrong with the words themselves, or the images they refer to, it just works better if you can find fresh ways of saying the same things.

But, hey, I'm a beginner too - so feel free to accept my praise and ignore the suggestions!! :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-123317 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-11531 Wed, 07 Sep 2005 19:29:49 +0000 This is my first song, .....What can I change to make it better???


That day

Rising up to a new day
Riding down the highway
I see the road ahead
I see the future

I cannot believe it
It cannot be true
It can't possibly be you

Thought I'd left it all behind
In the back of my mind
Now I remember your words
And all my pain

I cannot believe it
It cannot be true
It can't possibly be you

You're the wind I'm a candle
You take my light away
I see the road ahead
Nothing but darkness

I cannot believe it
It cannot be true
It can't possibly be you

I'll make it through this time
Sick of tears sick of rhyme
I see the road ahead
I see the sunlight

:lol: :lol: :?:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/that-day-week-44/#post-11531