https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 13:11:48 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-171751 Fri, 14 Apr 2006 06:35:00 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Manitou https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-171751 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-171732 Fri, 14 Apr 2006 04:54:22 +0000
One minor glitch you might want to work out. In the third verse, following your pattern of rhyming the second and fourth lines . . . . . "street" and "me" doesn't quite fit in my book of rhymes.

Other than that, good work!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group chefie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-171732 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-17050 Fri, 14 Apr 2006 04:11:32 +0000
I don't always like watching over you.
You hardly ever listen to what I ask.
When you look back at who I am
Please don't take me to task.

I used to fit shoes like yours
I once looked up to someone like me.
I used to cry like you do when I hurt
I used to believe I was free.
Chorus:
But oh man oh man oh man
I do what can.

I'm supposed to help you learn wrong from right
Teach you how to cross the street
But I can't ever see the differences
You won't pay heed to me.

I often agonize about you
You can't see beyond your desire
It all seems very clear for you
I'm just sinking in the mire.
Chorus:

Too many times I worry for you
It's a miracle you're alive
Every moment is timeless with you
Effortless you never strive.

I used to be mama's angel
Now I'm looking out for you
But there's something in me that needs fixing
All you can do is turn the screw.
Chorus:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group colin rp https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/untitled-wk-23/#post-17050