https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 14:32:31 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85940 Thu, 20 Jan 2005 21:30:17 +0000
You do a very good job of building tension with lines like:

the clock's ticking spinning twirling
they're snaking sneaking sliding
the ceiling's groaning bending folding

The only line I'm not sure about is

grit your teeth on vulture meat.

Although the image is sinister enough, just doesn't seem that vulture meat would be gritty. What about "grind your teeth?"

Anyways, I'm just being picky now. Well done.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85940 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85889 Thu, 20 Jan 2005 17:07:41 +0000
Excellent stuff - it really is quite creepy in all kinds of ways.

Had any musical ideas yet? I get it as quite quiet and well, creepy, to begin with. Then gathering pace for and after the bridge.

Well written.
G]]> Sunday Songwriters Group gjbrake https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85889 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85789 Wed, 19 Jan 2005 22:38:11 +0000
:) :) :)

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85789 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85784 Wed, 19 Jan 2005 21:17:39 +0000
how does that work?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85784 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85608 Tue, 18 Jan 2005 18:49:11 +0000
Like Bluenightangel, I got a creepy Hitchcock vibe from this....can see the (black-and-white) video in my minds eye....

One tiny criticism, the line

"you're a puppet you're a chain"

didn't work for me...I think it might read better if you changed it to "you're in chains" or "you're enchained".....

But that's almost nit-picking, it's a really good, eerie song....

:) :) :)

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85608 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85395 Mon, 17 Jan 2005 16:17:13 +0000
love it. kinda reminds me of an old Hitchcock movie(you know, the one with the birds... :wink: )
you're a puppet you're a chain
you're straining to survive
grit your teeth on vulture meat
they're eating you alive that is probably my favourite.
the chorus in its simplicity is great, too.

basically there's not much more to add to what Val already said.
good work.
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85395 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85386 Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:47:37 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Val https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-85386 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-6396 Sun, 16 Jan 2005 23:58:30 +0000 your mind is swirling down the drain
they're snaking sneaking sliding
they're climbing in your brain

they're taking over
taking over
taking over
they're taking over
it's all over

you're a puppet you're a chain
you're straining to survive
grit your teeth on vulture meat
they're eating you alive

they're taking over...

board the windows lock the doors
hide the kids under the floor

the ceiling's groaning bending folding
the walls are closing like a dream
the hands clawing clutching squeezing
there's no more air to scream

they're taking over...]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-11-ghost-in-the-machine/#post-6396