https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:07:28 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57191 Mon, 05 Apr 2004 02:41:28 +0000


All the best,]]> Sunday Songwriters Group leftygtr https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57191 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57190 Sun, 04 Apr 2004 22:14:12 +0000
As suspected another excellent submission.  Like Jamir I favour the lines

My city dreams tonight
Of flowers and trees tonight
All she used to be
And as the rain hits the concrete  
She weeps

speaks volumes

Excellent stuff

Bob  :)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57190 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57189 Thu, 01 Apr 2004 07:59:13 +0000 I tried both your suggestions. The first one didn't quite work the way i sing it. I mean it fits meter wise but I like the way the first writing sounds.

In the end, you've got to go with liking how it sounds. I can totally understand that!

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57189 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57188 Thu, 01 Apr 2004 07:50:24 +0000
I tried both your suggestions. The first one didn't quite work the way i sing it. I mean it fits meter wise but I like the way the first writing sounds.

I originally wrote the word as "beautiful" and when i sing it it oscilates back and forth between those words. I think i'll go with "beautiful" in the end though.

Thanks
-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57188 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57187 Thu, 01 Apr 2004 01:34:11 +0000
Two suggestions:

First, perhaps changing this line:

And through all the cracks in the streets

to this:

Through every crack in every street

And second, changing "wonderful" to "beautiful" in describing the secrets. I think "beautiful" is more of a "seeing" description. Just a thought.

Peace

]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57187 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57186 Wed, 31 Mar 2004 02:17:34 +0000
REALLY V GOOD, I got a big lump in my throat with this verse
My city dreams tonight
Of flowers and trees tonight
All she used to be
And as the rain hits the concrete  
She weeps

So sad............ you need to visit , we have no concrete here

Go well
Ja'mir
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57186 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57185 Mon, 29 Mar 2004 10:13:00 +0000
-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-57185 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-1843 Mon, 29 Mar 2004 04:12:12 +0000
Ok.. revised this one now that i just got home. The original writeup.. which I saw three people had read was done in like 20 minutes. This is largely the same thing with a couple of words changed.


"My City"

My city sleeps tonight
And under my feet tonight
Her heart softly beats
And through all the cracks in the streets
She breaths

My city dreams tonight
Of flowers and trees tonight
All she used to be
And as the rain hits the concrete  
She weeps

(Chorus)
My city sleeps tonight
And while she dreams tonight
She holds me
And tells me that she loves me

Out on the street tonight
Where I'll fall asleep tonight
Where no one can see
These wonderful secrets she keeps
But me

(Chorus)

She holds me
And tells me that she loves me


-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-my-city/#post-1843