https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 23:37:15 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-98062 Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:27:18 +0000
After reading this work and your story I decided to try to finish something I started about the addict that has an effect on my life.(My daughter's ex)
I've posted it on the Songwriting Club Forum it's called Jump Before You Fall. I would greatly appreciate you're input on this one. You should have a good idea where it's coming from.

Thanks

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-98062 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97825 Mon, 11 Apr 2005 07:38:01 +0000
I've never heard of anyone named Dog that didn't dig my blues.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group hairballxavier https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97825 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97616 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 17:17:15 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group smokindog https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97616 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97566 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 10:27:38 +0000 I added that later because I wanted to lengthen those sections some reason, . Everyone says it was better before I added the other lines . It's best to leave it the way it was. No ponys, they're kicked out. Those Ponys don't exist anyways.

I'll just let my guitar do the talking to lengthen those parts of the arrangement.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group hairballxavier https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97566 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97544 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 05:38:10 +0000
"The horse is swimming in a spoonful of water, he rushes though the needle tip.

kitty say's it's a pony she just surfs for pleasure, but who's riding who?"

(the rhyme could be "it's just a pony but she's not in control of it" for a guess. you loose the cool "who's riding who" but i would make the sacrifice if me was you)

but i think a) the horse reference looses it's power by the 4th reference so quick in the read and b) these two lines are the heart of the verse. cutting the other two lines don't take anything away from the emotion or story. and they really seem to be there to support the first and third line in rhyme.

the "water into wine" thing. i assume you are going for an "in need of a miracle" thing.. but in context.. water into wine is turning something pure and good into something addictive and negative when put in context of an anti-heroin song. so i don't think it makes much sense.

anyways. this is really good writting. good job.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group geoffrey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97544 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97534 Sat, 09 Apr 2005 04:45:16 +0000 Dealing with an addict is not an easy thing. Actually this is from real life. Writing about it was thereputic in a way. Herion is a very fantastic high, and is very physically addictive. A user will go from shooting for the high to shooting to avoid getting very painfully sick.
I gave up on the one I loved and left her when she probably needed me more than ever. It was a tough decision that I made about 15 years ago that ended in tragedy.
I'd love to hear this recorded, I can almost hear it....very minimal, doomy chords and an almost spoken verse....

Yeah, you've definitely got my vote for this one.....! I've been playing around with this song little bit and have come up with a chord melody based very loosely(I'm not a big fan of strumming barre chords) on an Em - Dmaj7 - Em progression with alot of bluesy twists that seems to fit the verse very well. And alot of stuff that works well with the breakdown lines. It's just a matter of putting the pieces of the puzzle together now.

As far as recording it, I can't finish that till I get another bass (next week), unless I play a bassline on guitar and transpose it down an octive. I'm not sure how well that would work. A while back I was in 4 jails for a total of about 3 months and when I got out all my stuff was gone. This is what happens when you don't take care of those pesky arrest warrants that accumulate over the years and have a penchent for ignoring court dates. You get on a tour bus and get to revisit every little hick town you ever got drunk in.

So right now all I've got to work with is me and a tele and an old vox amp that has put black marks on most of the outlets in my home and seems to electrocute me every other time I plug it in. And of course this computer and a 5$ mic.

And that's all I need. That and time. I'll be sure to get it online and post a link here for you when it's done Vic.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group hairballxavier https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97534 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97049 Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:08:36 +0000
Had exactly the same impact on me as Lou Reed's "Heroin", the first time I heard that.....first word that sprang to mind was "Wow!" followed by "where the hell's this guy been hiding?"

I'd love to hear this recorded, I can almost hear it....very minimal, doomy chords and an almost spoken verse....

Yeah, you've definitely got my vote for this one.....!

(No smileys - too serious a subject !!!!)...but a big thumbs-up from me...

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-97049 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96942 Wed, 06 Apr 2005 05:38:32 +0000
As Geoo wroteI can't say that this is my "genre" of song but the content and imagination put into this is awsome I caught the herion reference ritght off. Love that first verse it really draws a person in.
You lost me a little as it went on but I think that is more or less the "genre" not your writing.

I hope this isn't taken from your life. If it is I feel for you .
Dealing with an addict is not an easy thing.

Welcome to SSG

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96942 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96785 Tue, 05 Apr 2005 02:41:38 +0000
Thanks guys, the comment's I've recieved are encouraging. I'm glad I finally decided to join into this exercise. I haven't wrote a song in a long time.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group hairballxavier https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96785 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96711 Mon, 04 Apr 2005 16:19:01 +0000 kitty say's it's a pony she just surfs for pleasure, but who's riding who? I am amazed at some of the writers in this group. I was going to start with this weeks lesson and participate but so far I am finding no motivation.

Back to the topic at hand. Esp after reading what it was about, and then going back.. I am impressed.


Jim]]> Sunday Songwriters Group geoo https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-22-sewer-water/#post-96711