https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 21:13:13 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57210 Sat, 10 Apr 2004 12:11:00 +0000
-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57210 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57209 Fri, 09 Apr 2004 20:51:33 +0000 I wanted to say that it was slightly strange that we got no direction other than "write a pop song". With hte blues we had to go somewhere, with folk it was to be about a place or event, the love song had to have  twist.. that sorta thing. I always love getting a theme to write in. So "Pop" was just a bit general.
Oops and apologies for the lack of direction - I don't think you've done too badly out of it though. ;)

The chorus is excellent I think it sets the rest of the song off perfectly.  The bridge does well in explaining why he can only say hello.

Excellent work in a neat little pop package.

Bob :)

PS. Reminds me a bit of Pop Song 89 by REM
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57209 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57208 Thu, 08 Apr 2004 20:49:24 +0000
I'm glad you liked it though.  :)

-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57208 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57207 Thu, 08 Apr 2004 19:53:34 +0000 I especially like the chorus. The "Goodbye" at the end is very clever and catchy. You really communicated the feeling of a crush very well.
The only thing that looks might it might need work is the second verse:

I know
You prob'ly hear this a lot
But you're beautiful
And I can't help myself

Since this is a "pop" song, you might want to find something that rhymes for that part. It just doesn't sound right when I read it. Then again, with the music it might sound fine.

It can be very hard to write a pop song without sounding corny, or rehashing something that has been written a million times. You have accomplished this very well. It's catchy and fresh. Props.

Fruscian



]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Fruscian https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57207 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57206 Thu, 08 Apr 2004 06:32:48 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57206 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57205 Tue, 06 Apr 2004 14:11:09 +0000
As for the melody. I had one in my head when I wrote this but now it escapes me. I'll have to read it over again.

And now i have to go listen to that song that Homeboy mentioned.

-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57205 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57204 Tue, 06 Apr 2004 10:23:08 +0000
come on people!! pop music is GREAT!!!! when you neglect teenie bopper stuff .]]> Sunday Songwriters Group homeboy_hug https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57204 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57203 Tue, 06 Apr 2004 10:10:38 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group silly_rabbit https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57203 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57202 Mon, 05 Apr 2004 22:49:03 +0000

as was I.......... gotta say I like the lyrics, but can't for the life of me put a melody to it, but then that goes for mine too.
Not either of our best subjects, so I am really not elligable to crit !!!but i reckon you done well with it !!!!! ( to the best of my knowledge that is ???

Go well
Ja'mir ;)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-57202 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-1847 Mon, 05 Apr 2004 22:10:27 +0000
Pop ?!? And no subject other than Pop? I was dying. So I just read the topic over again and read the disclaimer at the end about "boy/girl bands" and turned that into the phrase "Boy meets Girl" which became my topic for the week. Otherwise I imagine I'd have been lost.

Anyway. Here's my song.

"Hello"

"Hello"
I haven't seen you before
Are you new in town?
Can I show you around?
"Hello"
There's just something about you
Keeps me coming back
There's nothing wrong with that
Is there?

(Chorus)
"Hello"
You take my breath away
and "Hello"
Is all that I can say
"Hello"
And then you're on your way
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Goodbye"

I know
You prob'ly hear this a lot
But you're beautiful
And I can't help myself
I know
That its only in my head
That I can make you see
That you mean everything
To me

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
And you'll never know how long it took me
Just to get up the nerve
To say "I want you. I need you. I love you, Baby"
All in that one little word

(Chorus)



-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-23-hello/#post-1847