Week 26 Silent Noise - Sunday Songwriters Group

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

Bob — Sun, 07 May 2006 15:14:49 +0000

It's very easy to just look at the words and not know what it means to the author when he/she wrote it! Hah I do that all the time, It's the art of songwriting though to communicate your thoughts, feelings and ideas in a way that means something to other people, a way they can identify but know what you mean.

I like the piece for this assignment good use of the paradixcal silent noise (as ably demonstrated in Sound of Silence by Paul Simon), story moves well through the song - not much more to add to coments already.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

xposed — Sat, 06 May 2006 23:43:06 +0000

It's very easy to just look at the words and not know what it means to the author when he/she wrote it! Hah I do that all the time, for example the line from tools album

"10 thousand days and the fire was long enough, now your going home"

i had no idea what it meant and then heard that his mother was paralyzed for 10k days (about 30 years)

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

Bennett — Fri, 05 May 2006 02:26:56 +0000

destroying and corrupting
your life a stranger to

This just means that whoever, or whatever you have slowly let come in to your life, is now unknown to you. Let's say you start with a little white lie(strangers in the distance) and then those lies get bigger (strangers in the backyard) and then before you know its apart of your life without you even knowing it, your just a compulsive liar (your lifes a stranger to) That makes a bit more sense now, thanks Xposed.

I wonder though, if "Your life's a stranger too" might be a better line ... it's only slightly different from the original, but it removes the confusion. :)

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

xposed — Fri, 05 May 2006 01:49:01 +0000

Thank you for the help/comments

I will change binded to bound, good catch there.

I wasn't meaning for the sentences to rhyme so much as I wanted them to be very similiar to the first.

destroying and corrupting
your life a stranger to

This just means that whoever, or whatever you have slowly let come in to your life, is now unknown to you. Let's say you start with a little white lie(strangers in the distance) and then those lies get bigger (strangers in the backyard) and then before you know its apart of your life without you even knowing it, your just a compulsive liar (your lifes a stranger to)

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

BarnaBus RoX — Wed, 03 May 2006 11:04:46 +0000

hi

Not much more I can add : except the story behing it is very facinating

Just thinking about what Bennett said on a few things , maybe there is too many forced rhymnes ...like

strangers in the bedroom
binded to you
destroying and corrupting
your life a stranger to < ------ seems a little forced to rhyme with you

" Just like footprints left in the dew " < -- off the top of my head

Then you could carry that over into other verses ...

It's always better not to try to force a rhyme then to say to your self whats a word that rhymes with !!!!!! , and then try to write a line around it ..

http://www.rhymezone.com

Is a good sorce for rhymes , but make sure you have most of the song done before going there ..

Just my opinion

Hilch :?:

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

Celt — Wed, 03 May 2006 03:12:07 +0000

Xposed,

The only comments I would make have already
stated quite well by Bennett.

Nice job it just needs a little tweaking

John

RE: Week 26 Silent Noise

Bennett — Wed, 03 May 2006 02:17:35 +0000

Hey mate. This song has a very nice feel to it. I thought the first two verses were great with the anticipation of strangers moving closer to home.

However, the verse: strangers in the bedroom
binded to you
destroying and corrupting
your life a stranger to sort of lost me a bit. Well, the first three lines seem fine (although I wonder if the poetic licensed "binded" would be better replaced with "bound"). Anyway, I think the last line confused me a bit.

I'm not sure whether you were trying to say, "Your life, a stranger too" or whether you were looking to tie it with the preceding line as in, "Destroying and corrupting your life, a stranger too". I guess the common factor here is the "a stranger to" bit ... I seems a bit forced just to fit. :?
where i go...
how do you know...
what you mean to...
when you leave...
why do i cry...
find me again...
my friend...
silent noise... I like this chorus. Although, I wonder if the "to" on the third line could be dropped (see bolded). Just reads better to me. Otherwise I think this is great.

Good work. 8)

Week 26 Silent Noise

xposed — Tue, 02 May 2006 18:54:25 +0000

Silent Noise

strangers in the distance
focused on you
blink and find nothing
haze blinds you

strangers in the backyard
focused on you
blink and find nothing
haze chokes you

strangers in the bedroom
binded to you
destroying and corrupting
your life a stranger to

where i go...
how do you know...
what you mean to...
when you leave...
why do i cry...
find me again...
my friend...
silent noise...

a stranger to your life
still strangers to you
giving hope and a smile
once again, its fooled you